Saturday, March 6, 2010
Forgot to mention
Oliver gave Miss Elizabeth a night (his blankie that is a diaper) yesterday when I was rocking her. Super sweet! And John wants a night but Oliver isn't ready to share one with him yet.
Day five
Things are continuing to progress well and we seem to be in a pretty good routing. John is really having a tough time. His behavior is getting worse but underneath it all we see a sweet little boy with a pretty damaged perception of the world. I know that it is going to be rough for a while with him as he learns to trust us. He is supposed to be going to some group therapy for kids to help with this. Hopefully that will happen soon. He did his nebulizer treatments great on Friday and got to go to the store and picked out a truck. As I type, Don is fighting him for his morning treatment. He got an "alligator" mask yesterday with his new nebulizer that he seems to like. It has stuff painted on it. I will take a picture and post soon.
I need a break at some point today.....just an hour away. Tomorrow the kids go with mom for a few hours in the afternoon but my in-laws are coming down for the day with some other family. Not sure when I will get my house looking presentable but who really cares, right?
I need a break at some point today.....just an hour away. Tomorrow the kids go with mom for a few hours in the afternoon but my in-laws are coming down for the day with some other family. Not sure when I will get my house looking presentable but who really cares, right?
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Days three and four
Day three was interesting. It was a long day for me and I think Brynn too! She was a big help and we ventured out to Kohl's together. John asked her to push him in the cart:) I managed the two little ones in the double stroller, it is too wide for Kohl's! We made it 30 minutes unlike Brynn's anticipated 20 minutes round trip and never getting out of the car.
Elizabeth is a happier camper now that I have discovered her love of pacifiers! I find it very odd that Mom didn't clue me in to this before when I asked about settling her down. Today, we went to the doctor and the kids' guardian ad litem came with us. Honestly, I couldn't have done it without her! She is a very with it and fun retired lady who loves kids. She was a teacher all her life and ended her career at the high school alternative learning center in Ft. Myers. God love her! Got some good information from the doctor after a stressful and unpleasant start. Got E referrals for some specialists to properly evaluate her. And both kids are supposed to be on the nebulizer several times a day. So, we have had one delivered so far this evening and a second is on the way. Not sure why E's had to be replaced but hers is pretty grubby even after I scrubbed it. The tubing is green....
John has had a tough couple of days. Poor kid! Yesterday he was sad as he had talked to mom and she had visited Dad (against several court orders). Not really sure why Mom would tell him any of it. He was able to share it with Brynn. He really loves her. Today John had a field trip to the fair. Mom was given permission to go along as the kids' former temporary guardian was also going. She was there when we got to school today and was there when I picked him up. It really makes for a sad and upset kid. I really believe that overall it is good for the kids to have contact but in this situation it is all so upsetting for John. Also, Mom, former temp. guardian and the teacher are "friends" and I am concerned that John is being told that all of us are bad. It is like one kid walks in to the school and another walks out. I have talked to the social worker about it and we are going to see what can be done. The guardian ad litem also had the same concern and was relieved when I expressed my concerns. We will find a way to have the boy that was having the time of his life on the swingset today more of the time.
She gave me the ultimate compliment today. It felt really nice as she has been a GAL for many years. I am determined to help these kids and really don't care if I rock the boat doing it. I know they are going back to Mom and want them all to have a shot at breaking what appears to be a very sad, hard cycle of life in their family.
Little Elizabeth is a love! She is just 18 lbs. and is almost 14 months. The crawling is getting better and I am working with her on the floor a couple times a day on pulling up, etc. She just eats it up. The doctor couldn't explain her very flat head to me but my gut sure tells me. We had several great meals today and not one puking (except Johnn after his nebulizer treatment).....we are making progress as she threw up 3 times yesterday.
And, the O man and Brynn are hanging in there. I know it is very tough for them. Oliver seems to love having John around and even does try to help Elizabeth by offering her toys, sticker, and french fries! Brynn is being a really big help! She is overwhelmed by it all but is trying to overcome it. The last two days Elizabeth has napped from about 11:30-1:30 (give or take 15 minutes) which gives me a couple hours alone with Oliver. It really helps. I think we are finding our groove and it will continue to get better. I do see some of John's behaviors worsening and more acting out but we are going to start some therapy for that soon.
Don and I are tired but doing pretty good. I don't think either of us regret this at all. We are commited to John and Elizabeth as long as they are with us. I will not be a party to them being moved to another foster home. We both believe the only way to be foster parents is to stick it out. But, it is no where near anything we could even not want to be in. We do hope to learn for our future fostering though. Better know what we are equipped to handle, etc.
Ok, time for me to find the couch! Thanks to everyone for your love, support and concern and especially all the prayers. Speaking of which I am not keeping up in my own conversations with God! Yikes!
Tanya
Elizabeth is a happier camper now that I have discovered her love of pacifiers! I find it very odd that Mom didn't clue me in to this before when I asked about settling her down. Today, we went to the doctor and the kids' guardian ad litem came with us. Honestly, I couldn't have done it without her! She is a very with it and fun retired lady who loves kids. She was a teacher all her life and ended her career at the high school alternative learning center in Ft. Myers. God love her! Got some good information from the doctor after a stressful and unpleasant start. Got E referrals for some specialists to properly evaluate her. And both kids are supposed to be on the nebulizer several times a day. So, we have had one delivered so far this evening and a second is on the way. Not sure why E's had to be replaced but hers is pretty grubby even after I scrubbed it. The tubing is green....
John has had a tough couple of days. Poor kid! Yesterday he was sad as he had talked to mom and she had visited Dad (against several court orders). Not really sure why Mom would tell him any of it. He was able to share it with Brynn. He really loves her. Today John had a field trip to the fair. Mom was given permission to go along as the kids' former temporary guardian was also going. She was there when we got to school today and was there when I picked him up. It really makes for a sad and upset kid. I really believe that overall it is good for the kids to have contact but in this situation it is all so upsetting for John. Also, Mom, former temp. guardian and the teacher are "friends" and I am concerned that John is being told that all of us are bad. It is like one kid walks in to the school and another walks out. I have talked to the social worker about it and we are going to see what can be done. The guardian ad litem also had the same concern and was relieved when I expressed my concerns. We will find a way to have the boy that was having the time of his life on the swingset today more of the time.
She gave me the ultimate compliment today. It felt really nice as she has been a GAL for many years. I am determined to help these kids and really don't care if I rock the boat doing it. I know they are going back to Mom and want them all to have a shot at breaking what appears to be a very sad, hard cycle of life in their family.
Little Elizabeth is a love! She is just 18 lbs. and is almost 14 months. The crawling is getting better and I am working with her on the floor a couple times a day on pulling up, etc. She just eats it up. The doctor couldn't explain her very flat head to me but my gut sure tells me. We had several great meals today and not one puking (except Johnn after his nebulizer treatment).....we are making progress as she threw up 3 times yesterday.
And, the O man and Brynn are hanging in there. I know it is very tough for them. Oliver seems to love having John around and even does try to help Elizabeth by offering her toys, sticker, and french fries! Brynn is being a really big help! She is overwhelmed by it all but is trying to overcome it. The last two days Elizabeth has napped from about 11:30-1:30 (give or take 15 minutes) which gives me a couple hours alone with Oliver. It really helps. I think we are finding our groove and it will continue to get better. I do see some of John's behaviors worsening and more acting out but we are going to start some therapy for that soon.
Don and I are tired but doing pretty good. I don't think either of us regret this at all. We are commited to John and Elizabeth as long as they are with us. I will not be a party to them being moved to another foster home. We both believe the only way to be foster parents is to stick it out. But, it is no where near anything we could even not want to be in. We do hope to learn for our future fostering though. Better know what we are equipped to handle, etc.
Ok, time for me to find the couch! Thanks to everyone for your love, support and concern and especially all the prayers. Speaking of which I am not keeping up in my own conversations with God! Yikes!
Tanya
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Day two....
Today went better than yesterday but then again John went to school from 8:00-1:45 and Don came home at 4:00 and Brynn was home by dinner time. Oliver got his nap in today which was huge for him because he is such a sleeper. John is almost two years older and can do without a nap much easier. Elizbath is not a napper or a least I cannot figure it out. I guess I have been fortunate to get a 30 minute one out of her once during the day.
The mom is interesting. Sadly she isn't very educated and has no idea how to be an advocate or active parent to her kids. There is an older brother that lives with the maternal grandparents. E needs to get some help medically and Mom has no idea how to do it or that it really needs done. The kids' guardian ad litem and I are going to work together and get it done and help Mom to learn how to be her daughter's advocate. If you can't fight the system you might as well try and help the kids get better parents out of it.
Oliver and I had some time alone today which was nice and having two kids most of the day was better. I was proud of myself this morning when I had three kids fed, dressed with teeth brushed at 7:30 this morning including a nebulizer treatment! There is hope for me yet!
I ran out while E was at therapy today and got John shoes that fit, socks, underwear and a pair of clearance jeans. He proudly showed it all to Don and Brynn tonight at separate times. He is so excited about it....we picked out tomorrows outfit which also was a shirt with the tags on it (Target clearance that I bought for O), new socks, new shoes, etc. He cannot believe he has Lightning McQueen underwear. Just breaks my heart, I will never think of a new pair of shoes the same again in my life. His mom is going on a field trip with his class on Thursday and he is already planning what to wear for his mom to see. I know it gave Brynn and Don some perspective today too.
Okay, the cute thing is....John is taking to Brynn! He came and took her hand tonight and asked her to play trains and to read him a bedtime story. I know my daughter's heart will be forever changed by this one little boy. Oliver sure did! They also packed up his "old" clothes in his suitcase together to save for when he goes home. I will be sure to send him home with lots of his "new" stuff too! I did keep a couple of his things for home in the mix but most were not things I would let Oliver play in the dirt in:(
The mom is interesting. Sadly she isn't very educated and has no idea how to be an advocate or active parent to her kids. There is an older brother that lives with the maternal grandparents. E needs to get some help medically and Mom has no idea how to do it or that it really needs done. The kids' guardian ad litem and I are going to work together and get it done and help Mom to learn how to be her daughter's advocate. If you can't fight the system you might as well try and help the kids get better parents out of it.
Oliver and I had some time alone today which was nice and having two kids most of the day was better. I was proud of myself this morning when I had three kids fed, dressed with teeth brushed at 7:30 this morning including a nebulizer treatment! There is hope for me yet!
I ran out while E was at therapy today and got John shoes that fit, socks, underwear and a pair of clearance jeans. He proudly showed it all to Don and Brynn tonight at separate times. He is so excited about it....we picked out tomorrows outfit which also was a shirt with the tags on it (Target clearance that I bought for O), new socks, new shoes, etc. He cannot believe he has Lightning McQueen underwear. Just breaks my heart, I will never think of a new pair of shoes the same again in my life. His mom is going on a field trip with his class on Thursday and he is already planning what to wear for his mom to see. I know it gave Brynn and Don some perspective today too.
Okay, the cute thing is....John is taking to Brynn! He came and took her hand tonight and asked her to play trains and to read him a bedtime story. I know my daughter's heart will be forever changed by this one little boy. Oliver sure did! They also packed up his "old" clothes in his suitcase together to save for when he goes home. I will be sure to send him home with lots of his "new" stuff too! I did keep a couple of his things for home in the mix but most were not things I would let Oliver play in the dirt in:(
Monday, March 1, 2010
Day one of fostering!
Holy cow I am exhuasted! What a day today was for all of us. Oliver had speech therapy this morning. The social worker/case manager was supposed to be at our house at 12:00 but we were both running late so they got here about 12:30. She forgot the custody letter and phone numbers that I needed along with other pertinent information. She didn't even know if the kids had eaten. WHATEVER! I got to work with the system I have been give not try to fight it, right? So she left me a hungry 4 year old boy who is very lonely and sad, a 13 month old little girl who is more like 6 or 7 month old in size and in development, a dirty diaper bag with 2 outfits for the baby, some diapers, baby food and a nebulizer. Nothing for poor John.
So, we had lunch. Chicken nuggets, mini corn dogs, tater tots, carrots, and fruit what every 2 and 4 year old boy loves. John warmed up to me pretty quick asking for ranch and more food:) I fed the baby two jars of stage 2 baby food and some juice from a sippy cup. She did feed herself some Gerber puffs. Then I made some calls. Lizzie goes to speech, occupational and physical therapy on Tuesday mornings. So, tomorrow we will go to them (bmom is coming, not sure about how I feel about it). And John and I got to talk to his preschool teacher and so he is going back there tomorrow! He is very excited and his teacher was much relieved to hear from both of us. She said the fact that he is talking to me is huge, he is very very shy.
The baby barely napped, not sure how to get her down. Going to ask Mom tomorrow for how to accomplish it amongst other things. Oliver and I rocked and had a bottle but no nap for him either. I am hoping to change all that, I could really use an hour break. Oliver and John had a lot of fun today playing together. John can't believe all the toys and the swing set in the backyard and got big eyed over the pool and water. After an early dinner (Lizzie threw hers up all over) we all got in the car and went to meet their former (for a week) foster mom to get John's suitcase and for me to get a quick demo on a nebulizer.
Home for baths and bed. Lizzie went down at 7:00 and the boys at 8:00 with no problems. John gave me a hug and a kiss. He was so excited to get two drawers in the nightstand next to his bed in Oliver's room and a toothbrush that he got to pick from my stash. So sweet! He had some rough times today, welled up with tears that he misses his mom. Oh, the cutest thing....Lizzie had to have her finger and toe nails clipped and he then wanted his done, then Oliver his. It was just too cute that they all wanted them done and all sat still as could be for me to do them.
How am I doing? It was a tough day, I missed my time with Oliver but know he was fine. He was having a great time and didn't seem to mind that I was having to tend to two other kids. I didn't get to focus on his eating like I should of but I will with time. I plan to do breakfast and lunch while John is at school which should help. John is in school 8:00 to 1:45 Monday through Friday. I am hoping as the days go by I learn better how to manage my time and juggle three kids. I was basically home alone with them today, Brynn was just home for a couple of hours that involved a nap....this has to be tough for her too. She isn't working too much this week and Don has a break between mini-terms so he is only gone Monday and Wednesday evenings this week. I just have to remember to ask God to guide me many times each day and to give me strength but overall it was a great day!
Tomorrow should be interesting and each day will get better!
So, we had lunch. Chicken nuggets, mini corn dogs, tater tots, carrots, and fruit what every 2 and 4 year old boy loves. John warmed up to me pretty quick asking for ranch and more food:) I fed the baby two jars of stage 2 baby food and some juice from a sippy cup. She did feed herself some Gerber puffs. Then I made some calls. Lizzie goes to speech, occupational and physical therapy on Tuesday mornings. So, tomorrow we will go to them (bmom is coming, not sure about how I feel about it). And John and I got to talk to his preschool teacher and so he is going back there tomorrow! He is very excited and his teacher was much relieved to hear from both of us. She said the fact that he is talking to me is huge, he is very very shy.
The baby barely napped, not sure how to get her down. Going to ask Mom tomorrow for how to accomplish it amongst other things. Oliver and I rocked and had a bottle but no nap for him either. I am hoping to change all that, I could really use an hour break. Oliver and John had a lot of fun today playing together. John can't believe all the toys and the swing set in the backyard and got big eyed over the pool and water. After an early dinner (Lizzie threw hers up all over) we all got in the car and went to meet their former (for a week) foster mom to get John's suitcase and for me to get a quick demo on a nebulizer.
Home for baths and bed. Lizzie went down at 7:00 and the boys at 8:00 with no problems. John gave me a hug and a kiss. He was so excited to get two drawers in the nightstand next to his bed in Oliver's room and a toothbrush that he got to pick from my stash. So sweet! He had some rough times today, welled up with tears that he misses his mom. Oh, the cutest thing....Lizzie had to have her finger and toe nails clipped and he then wanted his done, then Oliver his. It was just too cute that they all wanted them done and all sat still as could be for me to do them.
How am I doing? It was a tough day, I missed my time with Oliver but know he was fine. He was having a great time and didn't seem to mind that I was having to tend to two other kids. I didn't get to focus on his eating like I should of but I will with time. I plan to do breakfast and lunch while John is at school which should help. John is in school 8:00 to 1:45 Monday through Friday. I am hoping as the days go by I learn better how to manage my time and juggle three kids. I was basically home alone with them today, Brynn was just home for a couple of hours that involved a nap....this has to be tough for her too. She isn't working too much this week and Don has a break between mini-terms so he is only gone Monday and Wednesday evenings this week. I just have to remember to ask God to guide me many times each day and to give me strength but overall it was a great day!
Tomorrow should be interesting and each day will get better!
Friday, February 26, 2010
We Are Expecting Our First Foster Kids!
Today, just as I was arriving home from Oliver's last (as in final) GI visit (he got a clean bill of health), I got a call from our licensing social worker. "First, congratulations you are officially a licensed foster family. Second, we have a situation we want to talk to you about." I had heard that this is how it goes, as soon as you are licensed you get kids. The thought of us (yeah right) because the little girl (13 months) has some developmental delays and is in therapy already and I am experienced in these things because of Oliver. The little girl E is 13 months and her brother J is 4 years old. He has been in preschool where the kids I used to watch go to school. When the kids came back in to foster care earlier this week he was pulled out of preschool to go to work at the daycare with his current foster mom. These kids have sadly been in foster care before and come from a home with a history of domestic violence.
So, tomorrow and Sunday we are in Tampa at ZTA parent's weekend and then Monday we will get the kids sometime in the afternoon. Sometime this weekend we need to trade the crib and a twin bed around so they are in the right rooms. I am currently washing clothes for them and have a list for Target that also has to be accomplished this weekend. I am excited but nervous. I know these kids won't probably be with us too long and it totally breaks my heart that they have been a home with domestic violence and already in and out of foster care in their short little lives. I guess it is time to put my armour on and prepare for my heart to be broken but know that these kids need lots of love and good home and we can provide that. Say a prayer for them and the horrible times they are going through and also for our family as we set out on this journey! God hasn't failed me yet and I know he will see all of us through this to stronger people.
So, tomorrow and Sunday we are in Tampa at ZTA parent's weekend and then Monday we will get the kids sometime in the afternoon. Sometime this weekend we need to trade the crib and a twin bed around so they are in the right rooms. I am currently washing clothes for them and have a list for Target that also has to be accomplished this weekend. I am excited but nervous. I know these kids won't probably be with us too long and it totally breaks my heart that they have been a home with domestic violence and already in and out of foster care in their short little lives. I guess it is time to put my armour on and prepare for my heart to be broken but know that these kids need lots of love and good home and we can provide that. Say a prayer for them and the horrible times they are going through and also for our family as we set out on this journey! God hasn't failed me yet and I know he will see all of us through this to stronger people.
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