World's worst blogger is headed home

Seems that with the ease of connecting through Facebook, I have sorely neglected my blog during this trip. Big surprise since I was already a horrible blogger!

We are headed home this morning! So excited and ready to be back home with our other kids. We are incredibly blessed to have been on this journey and given the most amazing daughter. I long for everyone to meet and know her! To think this little girl was shunned by soctiey here and looked upon as a burden is so unbelievable. She obviously had a foster family that loved her beyond measure. She is just something to behold. I know, I am partial:)

A few pics before we head home! I hope to catch up when home but realize reality and jetlag will probably fix that! Sorry, still cannot upload from China:(

Blessings!
Tanya

QingQing

To say that Don and I have fallen in love would be the biggest understatement ever. This little girl is captivating! I think as parents we all think this about each of our children. So on to the details!

We were told that they were bring Qing Qing to our room at the Marriott at 3:00 so we anxiously awaited. Went to the pool and tried to distract ourselves while they cleaned our room. Anxiously went back to the room at 1:00 in case someone would call that they are early or late. At 2:40 I realize we have moved rooms from when we checked in, would our guide know? How would they get up to our room since you need a key. So Don went to the lobby to talk to the front desk. Then I am in the room panicked that he will meet her first.....he made it back and they said they would give our guide a key up.

At 3:00 the girls call on Skype to watch the events. And then our phone rings, they are in the lobby and we need to come down. (Later our guide said we were supposed to be waiting in the lobby, miscommunication.) Don taped us meeting. We walked off the eleveator and I saw this doll baby walked around one of the seating arrangements. Oh my, bestill my heart! I slowly approached her and tried to touch her. She was apprehensive but confident and calm. Slowly she let us talk to her. I invited everyone up to our room. There were two ladies from the orphanage Mrs. Chen the director and another lady.

We all came up to our room and we tried to play on the floor with her. She soon became panicked and started crying. We took turns walking out in the hall with her and looking up and down 25 story courtyard. (as I am typing this she is sitting on the bed in her pink rhinestone sunglasses playing babies) Finally all the papers were signed and the orphanage ladies left and then our guide. And we had one very broken little girl. Crying and sobbing. I rocked her to sleep and she slept in my arms for over an hour. The sobs still came while she slept. She woke up and was still so sad and crying. I asked God to help this baby heal to not let her suffer, my heart was so broken for her. In the terms of attachment this is an excellent thing for her. It means she was attached to someone and loved and she will learn to love and attach to us. Her foster mother had brought her to the orphanage Monday morning before they left to bring her on the drive to us (3-4 hours).

We finally ordered room service. And she sat on my lap to eat and eat and eat and eat. Slowly she started smiling and seeming happy. I tickled and got a giggle. Then we skyped with the kids while they ate breakfast and we finished dinner. It was nice for them to meet. So she loved splashing in the sink when we washed her hands so I thought, let's try a bath. She was pretty grubby and didn't smell wonderful but I was going nowhere near anything that would traumatize her. I started the bath and she started stripping her clothes off. She had the best time in the tub! So much fun. After she let me rock her to sleep. She slept between us and slept all night with some turning and crying out in her sleep!

She woke happy as can be and has been bubbling happiness ever since! More later!

Today is the day

We are safe and happy in Nanning. Our hotel is beautiful! We are very excited to meet Molly in 7 hours, not that I am counting!

Our travel has been interesting. The flight were long and mostly uneventful. Friends we were hoping to meet up with in Chicago and fly the long flight to Hong Kong with almost missed their flight due to storms in Chicago and the airport closing in the morning. They ended up making it (with much production) but their luggage didn't. My friend, Stacy cried at the gate as the plane was sitting there with the doors closed. They ended up opening the doors for them and a few others. Their luggage finally arrived in Hong Kong two days later!

We almost didn't make it from Hong Kong to Guangzhou Friday night. Due to the typhoon the airport had tons of delays and cancellations. So we had to get in a long line for our boarding pass. We made friends with two American guys in their twenties who teach English in China. Their flight was delayed several hours so they were in no huge rush and let us get in front of them. The line just didn't move, we didn't know what was happenging but it looked like chaos! We stood still and kept grabbing people from the airline begging for help as our flight departure time was closing in. And, no luck! Finally we got to the counter after an hour of waiting and only 5 people or so in front of us. We ran like heck to our gate. It was a long way, up and down escalators, through security, and then a very long way to the gate in a huge terminal of hundreds of gates. And they are boarding the plane. We made it. Lots of prayers from Don and I on the run! Then we sat on the plane at the gate for an hour waiting for the people on the Cathay Pacific San Fransciso flight. Wish someone had mentioned this to us in our panic.

Guangzhou was nice, our hotel great. The train ride to Nanning was a bit rough. But we saw the beautiful countryside and the primitive farming they still do here.

More later! Need to get breakfast before we miss it again!

Ready to go!

We are ready to leave in the morning at 6:00 a.m.! We are on the couch waiting for our sheets to dry after Oliver throwing up all over our bed this evening! Ahhhh, what a day!

Sad to leave my kiddos! I know Brynn will do great the first week with Stephanie coming for a few days. And then my mom and step- dad the second week at their house. Thank you God for giving us Skype! Or I am not sure I could leave. I am trusting in Him!!!! He has shown me over and over that Molly is ours!

Itinerary!!!

Thursday, August 16th - Leave Ft. Myers at 7:37a.m. and travel to Chicago O'Hare, 4 hour layover in Chicago to stretch our legs and prepare for our 15 hour (GULP!) flight to Hong Kong.

Friday, August 17th - Arrive in Hong Kong at 5:55p.m. (12 hours ahead of EST), depart for Guangzhou at 8:20 p.m. and arrive in Guangzhou at 9:20 p.m. stay at Garden Hotel for the night

Saturday, August 18th - We have the day in Guangzhou and then depart at 7:41 p.m. on the overnight train to Nanning (Guangxi provincal capital)

Sunday, August 19th - 9:00 a.m. arrive in Nanning and check in to Marriott

Monday, August 20th - GOTCHA DAY!!!

Tuesday, August 21st - Go to civil affairs office to complete adoption paperwork

Wednesday, August 22nd - Finish the adoption paperwork (hoping to go to Liuzhou City)

Thursday, August 23rd - Sightseeing in Nanning

Friday, August 24th -Pick up Molly’s passport and return to Guangzhou by train 6:50pm

Saturday, August 25th - Arrive in Guangzhou at 7:53am and then Child’s medical exam

Sunday, Augsut 26th - Sightseeing in Guangzhou

Monday, August 27th - Medical exam follow up (read TB test) and Prepare documents for the visa interview with the guide’s assistance

Tuesday, August 28th - Visa interview and oath ceremony at the United States Consulate

Wednesday, August 29th - Pick up Molly's U.S. entry visa in the afternoon

Thursday, August 30th - Take van to Hong Kong in morning and depart at 11:10am
Fly Hong Kong to Chicago O'Hare and arrive at 12:35 p.m. and the depart O'Hare at 6:19 p.m. and arrive in Ft Myers at 10:10 p.m.!!!!! We will try to get an earlier flight once through customs:)

Travel Schedule

We have received our travel approval to go get Molly! We got this on Monday as we were traveling to Pennsylvania for Don's mom's 80th birthday celebration this week. Crazy days!

Leave Ft. Myers on 8.16.12
Travel to Nanning on 8.18.12
Receive Molly (GOTCHA) on 8.20.12
Consulate on 8.28.12
Fly out on 8.30.12

We will have our full itinerary later this week! So excited!!!!

Be A Voice Jewelry Fundraiser

We are doing another fundraiser with Be A Voice selling beautiful jewelry!!! Check us out here at Be A Voice! At checkout please put in the code "Tanya" so we get credit for your purchase. Love this stuff!

Olive Tree Fundraiser

Please check us out on Olive Tree! Molly is coming home at peak travel season and while we are incredibly blessed to get her home and to medical care that she so urgently needs, airfare is outrageous! Please help us! I hate begging but at this point have little choice. God called us to her and I know he will provide!

I bought the boys these t-shirts last year for another family's fundraiser and love them! I will take a picture of them in them and post it later. My dear friend, Pat suggested I sell them as her kiddos need new ones. So, I found the fundraising site for them and many other great things and signed us up!

Later today I will post our other new fundraising project. Today is the last day for the necklaces on Craft Cafe and we are still doing jars of change! We may also have one less one that I am working on. God will provide and get Molly home!

Necklace Fundraiser last days!

Friday is the last day to order your "it matters to this one" starfish necklace. $10 goes to our adoption agency to help us pay Molly's ransome(orphanage donation)! Please consider buying one if you haven't. If you have already bought one or two or fourteen (thanks, Mom and Jim), thank you doesn't it say it adequately!!! Joy's etsy shop is on vacation while she prepares for a big doula convention that she is a vendor at. She is beyond fabulous for helping us!!! But you can still buy it at her Craft Cafe shop.

One Less = One More Daughter

We were incredibly blessed on the morning of the 4th of July to get an email saying we had been awarded a grant from One Less Ministries in the amount of $500!!! http://onelessministries.org/ Thank you from the bottom of our hearts! We are trusting in God to help us come up with the last of the funds we need to go get Molly! Sounds like we could be on our way in August!

Jars for Change

We are kicking off our second fundraiser! We are calling it "Jars for Change". With your loose pocket change you can change Molly's life. Who doesn't have a little pocket change at the end of each day? For the month of July put your spare change in a glass mason jar or other container and at the end of July cash it and donate the money towards Molly's adoption!

If you want a sticker, please let me know and I will happily send you one. And when you are all done you can either send the money to us via PayPal using my email tanyabaer@yahoo.com or mail it to us and make your check payable to us or our agency, WACAP. The Baers, 16970 Laurelin Court, North Fort Myers, FL 33917

This is from the flyer we made up to go with the jars here locally:

We are excited to announce that we are adding one more child to the Baer family. This time, we are adopting a little girl from China. She was two on June 7th and shares Matson’s date of birth and Oliver’s congenital heart defect. Seemingly chosen by God for our family. Yes, we will have “identical twins” to keep us on our toes. Qing is her name now and we are keeping our tradition of using it as her middle name. She has some pretty complex medical needs that will require lifelong medical care, much of which is not available in China. In her province of China, 80% of children with her medical condition do not live till their fifth birthday. Here in the US she will live a long and full life. We received approval from China on June 20th to adopt. We expect to travel to China in August or September.
We made the decision to follow God’s call to change the life of one more child on our 13th wedding anniversary in January. We both knew God had a plan for us and that we had to follow. It has not been an easy journey but at every turn He has given us every indication to put more trust in Him and keep following! That being said, we have gone in to this adoption not entirely knowing how we were going to afford it. We have paid all of our adoption agency fees from our savings and have applied for a couple of grants to help fund our travel expenses. However, we may be tapping in to investments to pay them. We are seeking assistance from friends and family with help paying for the orphanage donation of $5,600 that is required by the People’s Republic of China to finalize her adoption. Many people in the adoption world call this “ransom” to free our children from the life of an orphan.
We continue to trust God that He will help us to fund the remaining portion of Molly’s adoption and free her from the life that she would face in China. We have created a fundraising project we are calling “Jars for Change”. Your pocket change each day can change Molly’s life! By placing your lose change in a glass jar you can help us pay the orphanage donation that will give her a family and a chance at life! Please consider participating in Molly’s adoption so there is one less orphan in this world! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

God's blessings!

Starfish Necklace Fundraiser

I helped design this necklace, the Starfish poem means much to me. I like to think think everyone can make a difference in the life of an orphan, by some means. It doesn't mean everyone has to adopt a child. Befriend a child in foster care, sponsor a child, be a guardian ad litem, support people adopting through prayer, etc. The list is long.

You can buy it here:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/102576260/hand-stamped-necklace-charity-for-reeces

The Starfish Poem
As I walked along the seashore this young boy greeted me.
He was tossing a stranded starfish back into the deep blue sea.
I said, "Tell me why you bother. Why waste your time this way?
There's a million stranded starfish. Does it matter anyway?"
And he said, "It matters to this one. It deserves a chance to grow.
It matters to this one. I can't save them all, I know.
But it matters to this one, I'll return it to the sea.
It matters to this one, And it matters a lot to me."

-Poem adapted from the story "The Star Thrower" (or "starfish story") by Loren Eiseley (1907–1977), published in 1969 in The Unexpected Universe.

Introducing Molly Qing

We received our Letter Seeking Confirmation, better known as LOA, on Thursday! It was a huge surprise! We are now anticipating travel either late August or early September. Lots and lots to do! These are the photos we received in March, I think they are from November when her file was done by her orphanage so that she would be eligible for adoption. Not sure we will get anymore before we travel, highly doubt it! Can you see how tiny her little hands and feet are? We think she is about 20lbs. So, she is just a tiny little peanut. The little cloth shoes are precious. Wonder what she will come to us in???? Praying for all to go smoothly from here. Lots to do, money to come up with, travel to plan, childcare for the boys to figure out. God's got, right?

Moving slow but hoping we speed up!

This post is for Missi's birthday! Happy birthday Melissa! We have been moving at a snail's pace or so it seems. Our immigration application was submitted without our home study, very unusual back on April 23rd. Our home study was supposedly a few days behind. However, somehow it still hasn't arrived to us or our placement agency. I am hoping it gets here tomorrow along with our fingerprinting appointment for immigration. We will then walk in on Monday to the USCIS office here in Ft. Myers to get our fingerprinting done. As soon as they clear and our home study arrives to immigration (by Tuesday) we should get our approval. For China authentication of your dossier is a two step process, for Russia it is just one step. Once the secretary of state certifies each document (apostille for Russia) it is then sent to the appropriate Chinese consulate. Our birth certificates are all done. Mine had to go to Chicago and Don's to NYC. Crazy stuff! I wanted to share that I truly feel Molly is our God chosen daughter! Not sure if you are aware but we chose her name before we knew anything about her. The name is from the boys. Olly is from Oliver, who changed our hearts to love the orphans of the world. M for Matson who's adoption tax credit is paying it forward and bringing her home. She has Oliver's congenital heart defect (ASD) and Matson's date of birth. A weee bit heaven sent:) God is good! Matson has moved to Oliver's room and is on the bottom bunk! Tonight they were both sleeping at about 8:10! Fourth night and Matson has napped 3 days in his bed! We are on our way. The crib came down today and Brynn will take over Matson's former room on Saturday. Once she goes back to school in August we will tranform it in to Molly's room. Can't wait! Saturday morning Stephanie graduates from the University of South Florida!!! So proud of her! She is about to start looking for a real job and in July her lease is up so who knows where she will end up. NYC with her sister? Carolinas? Ft. Myers? I think Michelle would love to have her as would we! Brynn is doing awesome at school last final tomorrow and then she meets us with us in Tampa for graduation. She told me today "all A's this semester maybe"! Boy is that girl making her mama proud! She has only proven that the F's were from lack of effort, not that we didn't know. Oliver has kindergarten orientation on Monday night! And I am investigating part-time preschool/daycare for Matson in the fall. Molly is going to need some time with me and Matson needs some other kids to keep him busy! Eventually the two of them will each go a little so they can each have mama time:) Hope everyone is well! Life is busy!

Pre Approval of our Molly Qing

Excited to share that we heard today that the Chinese government has given us our preapproval to adopt Miss Molly Qing! Our last home study visit was this morning and our HS should be done next week and we will quickly apply for our I800A on a medical expedite! Working on getting the supporting letters for that. It is a whirlwind!

Can't wait for the okie dokie to share her pictures! Email me and I will send one to you. I can't post them on here. Sadly found out today that we have a "mark" on our names with the Florida abuse registery. Due to the fact that one of our previous foster kids investigation was opened while they were in our care. Not that we were investigated that she lived with us so our names and addresses are on a report somewhere! Always something.....

A Heaven Sent Gift?

The last week has really been a whirlwind for us. The Chinese government releases a shared list of the available special needs children in the middle of the night US time, once each month. The agencies hurriedly pick referrals off of it for their waiting families. They lock them for 72 hours and then they go back on the list. You have 72 hours to decide yes or no to a child. A strange process to me as Russian adoptive mom but somewhat makes sense. So, Tuesday morning I was expecting a call around 1:00 or 2:00 a.m. I awoke around 3:00 and panicked, no call. I checked my phone for a missed call or email. Sure enough I had gotten an email but no match for us. UGH! Oh well, she isn't ready for us. The email did say later in the week we could get a referral as children were release back at the end of the 72 hours.

Thursday night it was 10:30 and Don was already in bed sleeping. I was getting up to let the dogs out before I went to bed when my phone rang! It said "Seattle, Washington" so I answered. It was our agency wondering if we would consider a little girl born June 2010 with an atrial septal defect and beta thalassemia major. I said sure, had previously reseached thalassemia and Oliver has an ASD. We only had Friday to get medicals evaluated and had to have an answer on Saturday and our letter of intent ready on Sunday. Ok, we can do that. So finally at almost 11:00 I get the email. I first look at the pictures, she is darling and standing independently, good sign. Looks like a feminine version of Matson with some Asian features. Start reading and nothing is alarming. She is doing fabulous in a foster home and loves to play, is talking in three word sentences, etc. Her medical conditions are not screaming. I am getting excited. Finally, I look at her date of birth and it the same day as Matson's! Oh my goodness! God is giving me his twin? Seems like a heaven sent sign that she is our peanut.

I decide to consult with our pediatrician because I knew the odds were not with us on hearing back from the international adoption clinic that does rough reviews for no charge. We will give a donation to them once our tax refund comes in but right now we need to reserve funds for the big chunk we will be paying when we are ready to submit our petition to immigration. (there is a huge hold up by the IRS on adoption tax credit refunds)

Well, our pediatrician called me and thoroughly scared me and I thought "I cannot do it". Essentially, children with thalassemia major used to pass away early in life due to having excess iron in their blood and it effected their liver, spleen and heart. They are given blood transfusions on a regular basis to keep their hemoglobin count up. Currently they are given chelation therapy to remove the excess iron and their organs aren't effected. There is no known life expectancy now for these kids as the therapy has progressed giving them longer life. There are potentials for new treatments down the road.

After conversing with two of my medical friends and a few fellow adoptive moms (some with Thal kids), we are back on track for her. Thank you to Pat, Amy, Donna and Shari for all your encourage and support! And to my new friends on China Adopt Talk who have been there and are loving kids with Thal! Our letter of intent is done and hopefully will go out in time. Now this week we will have her medicals evaluated more and prepare to bring her home. Amy so kindly introduced the Sparrow Fund and I hope to get them to help with the expense of the evaluation. Love meeting some new adoptive friends and hope to work with them in the future. Things just come together sometimes!

Wonder how we will answer the question "Twins?" to our children born on the same day halfway around the world from each other from two different birthmoms? God loves to give my husband things to think about incorporating in to this comedy routine! Please pray for this little girl and that she gets home fast!

P.S. We are sponsoring the little girl I fell in love with through International China Concern and will be able to receive regular updates and pictures and continue to help her even though she is still in China.

Sad to say

I am say to say but we had to pass on the little girl we had thought was meant to be our daughter. Don and I are both a bit sad about it but her needs became more apparent to us on Monday when we were told she may have autism. The doctors that reviewed her records were suspicious she may have a hearing loss. However, cognitively she was a 2-3 month old and she is 26 months old. Something we cannot deal with the two boys. Also, how much do you give our other children to deal with when we are gone, etc.

My heart is very heavy about it. But, I know we will find our little girl! We are planning to stick with China and our time frame shouldn't change too much hopefully! But it will happen when God decides we are all ready.

The orphanage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UpWImDEHiY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW20cJpAd4A

No news but I am still knocking out the paperwork...................

I spoke with our agency on Friday but they don't have the update from China yet. It is a process as the update has to go from the orphanage to the CCWA (China's gov't office) and then to our agency and then it has to be translated. They don't know where it is, "maybe on someone's desk somewhere"? Ugh! So we wait! This is definitely one of the downs of adoption. When you are just being a parent you forget all these headaches and heartaches.

However, I am not letting it hold me back. Sadly, there are more children out there looking for families than anyone of us wants to realize so we will be fine. With China we can just get our dossier done and then wait for a referral of a child much like we did for Oliver. The big difference is that China issues a list in the middle of the night once a month and the agencies snag the kids off of them. You have three days to make a decision and you have to hurry! So, there is no real time delay.

My devotion today talked about stress and heartache leaving you the closer you are to God and so I must let Him carry this one for me. Honestly, we are trying to proceed as if all is well. I am not out shopping for little girl things though. I cranked out all of the paperwork that arrived in the mail today in a couple of hours while Matson napped . I also found how to get our dossier packet tucked away in all the information so I emailed our agency for that. We have our first homestudy visit on Wednesday and hope to do the other two within a few weeks. My goal is to send everything to our agency ready to go to immigration on May 1st but I will be happy with May 15th. I did all our child abuse checks for our social worker so there would be no delays!!! Once we get our HS we can start applying for grants to help us pay for this adoption. We don't entirely have that all figured out yet. I am confident it will come with God's help!

Praying and worrying

The last 12 hours have been stressful for me. We ended up finding out the she is in the orphanage that we thought and is under the care of ICC! Fabulous news! However, the former director of the orphanage who is now the director of ICC in China emailed me last night and told me that the update of her medical records is done and has been sent to our agency. She went on to say she cannot discuss her case or medical with us as it is a violation of the Hague Convention. But, that we need to get her updated records to fully understand her condition and care needed. Oh, this makes my heart heavy....beyond her heart condition, we know that her head circumference is small and it could mean that she is mentally "challenged", we know that a year ago they felt she was developmentally delayed....or it could mean she is a small little peanut. All children who are institutionalized have delays, no way around it. We are prepared to deal with that and realize that we are probably going to be back in the speech, physical and occupational therapy game to help her catch up and some children never do. No problem. However, we are not prepared to have a child that will never be able to be independent as an adult. We are just too old and cannot knowingly burden our other 5 children with this either.

So please pray for her well being and us in this decision. My heart and mind are heavy. It will be a long day waiting for 9:00 Pacific time to call our agency and locate the updated medical records! Feeling blessed that my best friend, Donna and her Kirov cutie are here with us this weekend to help keep me grounded. There is no coincidence that she is here for this as she is my rock so often and will smack me when needed, she is here for a reason! I love you, Donna!

Found her guardian angels!

For those of you don't know, our princess has a pretty severe heart condition and somehow made it all the way to the University of Shanghai's Children's Hospital for open heart surgery. We know a guardian angel was watching and caring for her to make this incredible journey and save her life! So just searching on the internet for her orphanage and I found the organization that is working in her orphanage and are most certainly the ones who saved her!

I have emailed them and hope to at least thank them!

http://english.chinaconcern.org/about/locations/hengyang

And so the Baers Den Grows again!

We are super excited to announce that God has found us a precious little girl half way around the world in China! She is two years old and we have made the commitment to adopt her. We are praying God will help us to get her home by Christmas.

The story to this little one:

Don and I have both always known that we would probably adopt another child one day. Our lives were forever changed on February 4, 2008 when we walked in to an eerily quiet orphanage in Kirov, Russia. I can still smell and hear that place. I tear up thinking about it. And to think our son lived there for 8 months of his life. It is not where God wants children to grow up, He wants them to know the love of a family.

We started fostering because we could. I believe it is our duty as Christians to help the needy and the orphans of the world are the neediest. Oliver is growing and thriving in our family. We cannot imagine our lives without him, it is truly hard for me to believe I didn't birth either of the boys. We know that Matson was our miracle gift and so with his adoption tax credit we are paying it forward.

I frequently think about how I need to become closer to God. I am very firm in my faith and have what I consider to be a close relationship with God. However, I do not know the bible well and always feel it is one of my shortcomings as God's child. He calls, I follow and I talk to Him constantly. So I keep thinking if I started doing devotions each morning it will help me to grow, so I should make it my New Years resolution. On New Years Day this year I thought "once again I am not starting my devotions. Went to take Oliver to a movie and he decided he didn't want to see it so we went shopping and Brynn joined us. In Marshall's I saw a pretty book with lavender on the cover and I picked it up. It was a devotional starting on January 1st and it was $4.99. Thump thump thump! So every morning since it is how I start my day. LOVING IT!

Our thirteenth anniversary was in January. We left the boys with my parents for the weekend for the first time ever and went to St. Augustine for some couple time. On Sunday morning we were taking our time getting ready to head out for the day. I put my devotional on my bag to do in the car on the drive from Jacksonville to St. Augustine. Then I thought "why wait, do it now" so I did. It was about patience and letting God work his ways. To me it meant "be patient for Don's heart to be ready for our next adoption, let God work". Don asked me what it was about. And I told him, honestly I thought about lying to him. Well, it lead to a very tearful conversation and Don admitting he knew and that it was ok for me to push this time. He fought me with both of the boys and says all the time God knew and got the last laugh. I wanted him to come to me and be ready this time.

We headed down to St. Augustine and stopped at Village Inn for breakfast and their was an article in the paper about adopting from foster care, older kids, etc. So the conversation went on about how we both know after fostering that we cannot adopt a child older than our Oliver, maybe one day but not while he is so young. We don't want younger than Matson as we are getting older and are tired of babies and diapers. We both want to adopt what others may see as unadoptable. Don thinks our child is in foster care, I think he/she is in an orphanage.

We get to our new fancy smancy hotel and get on the trolley tour for the day. We end up feeling banged up and get off. We decide let's find some lunch. We walk through a street market and I am looking at amber jewelry (feel in love with it in Moscow) and I hear "nyet, nyet" and more in what I think is Russian by two ladies looking at the table next to me. I look for Don and he is way down the street. I catch up and tell him about the ladies. And he says "why didn't you say something to them?" and I said "I never know what to say, but could have since Oliver isn't here". We decide to go to Scarlet and Rhetts for lunch but cannot find a seat so down the street we go. We got to Sara's Crepe Cafe and guess what it is? A Russian cafe playing Russian music and filled with Russian things. We had lunch of pelmeni and belini. I cried and I think Don was a little teary too.....

So, I have spent the last 6 weeks on an investigation to find the right path for us. It seems to be China. Foster adoptions is not our avenue, inquired all over the place and to get a child between the boys in age that wouldn't require lifetime care is not going to happen anytime soon. Russia is too expensive. Ukraine to risky as it is all blind travel with no guarantees. Don is too old for some countries. And then I found our little peanut on a photo listing and as Don says "I knew you wouldn't let her go".....

There is more to the story and I will share as time goes on but please know I know without doubt God has me by the hand this time!