Praying and worrying

The last 12 hours have been stressful for me. We ended up finding out the she is in the orphanage that we thought and is under the care of ICC! Fabulous news! However, the former director of the orphanage who is now the director of ICC in China emailed me last night and told me that the update of her medical records is done and has been sent to our agency. She went on to say she cannot discuss her case or medical with us as it is a violation of the Hague Convention. But, that we need to get her updated records to fully understand her condition and care needed. Oh, this makes my heart heavy....beyond her heart condition, we know that her head circumference is small and it could mean that she is mentally "challenged", we know that a year ago they felt she was developmentally delayed....or it could mean she is a small little peanut. All children who are institutionalized have delays, no way around it. We are prepared to deal with that and realize that we are probably going to be back in the speech, physical and occupational therapy game to help her catch up and some children never do. No problem. However, we are not prepared to have a child that will never be able to be independent as an adult. We are just too old and cannot knowingly burden our other 5 children with this either.

So please pray for her well being and us in this decision. My heart and mind are heavy. It will be a long day waiting for 9:00 Pacific time to call our agency and locate the updated medical records! Feeling blessed that my best friend, Donna and her Kirov cutie are here with us this weekend to help keep me grounded. There is no coincidence that she is here for this as she is my rock so often and will smack me when needed, she is here for a reason! I love you, Donna!