Update

Matson has RSV so all of his craniofacial stuff is on hold. We are currently scheduled for CT scan on January 4th and follow up appointment on the 5th. We did have our first visit with the adoption counselor today and gave her all of our paperwork!!!! The girls just have to have fingerprinting done and fill out letters about us as parents this coming week. Reference checks and getting the fingerprinting results back will take some time. They are saying 2 to 6 months to complete the adoption. Would love to have court on February 20th so the boys could share adoption day and we could turn it in to "family day"! Time will tell.....

Prayers Needed

Just wanted to ask for everyone to pray for Matson. We saw a craniofacial specialist on Wednesday and we are now going for CT of his skull on the 14th and will return to the specialist on the 15th for the results. He is suspicious that Matson's sutures (spaces between skull plates) have prematurely closed. He has a couple bumps on his head that appear to be from this. He said best case he is looking at helmet therapy for several months and worst case he would have to have craniofacial surgery to open up the sutures and remove the excess bone. Praying for helmet therapy!

We are headed on vacation with the boys for the next week. We are headed to cold weather country to see family and friends and the Biltmore all decorated for Christmas. We have plans almost every day but it should be wonderful to sit in front of a fire and have to wear a jacket. Not sure what the boys will think but I am guessing they will both be cold. My Russian redneck does not like the cold too much:) That Russian blood thinned quick!

One more thing, we are supposed to be referred to an adoption counselor next week and get the adoption ball rolling! About time! Haven't heard from the birthmom since Veteran's Day, not sure what to think but I am enjoying it.

Termination of Parental Rights Hearing

This morning was the hearing for the termination of parental rights for Matson's birthmom and I guess also the birthfather. I went and took Matson with me as the timing was perfect with Oliver's school. It was pretty uneventful but the judge is a big advocate for birthparents and reunification. He asked some questions that made me, the case manager, and guardian ad litem all a little bit nervous. He was fishing to see if there was any possibility of her getting it together. In the end he terminated the parental rights and said to me "see you in a couple of months", meaning the adoption hearing. Now to get to that point.....

First visit with birthmom

Today was Matson and my first visit with his birthmom. It seemed to go pretty well. We met at a park and walked around the farmer's market and then sat and talked for a while. She held him and played with him. She seemed to be fairly sober but not overly so. She doesn't seem to have any desire to change her mind. She told me her dream had died 4 months ago. Her dream was of a family, pretty sad. I bought a prepaid phone that we will use for phone calls with her. She is supposed to call me to work out the next visit, the ball is in her court now. She had promised a letter for Matson to have one day and some pictures but showed up empty handed today. I am not confident we will see each other too many more times. I am doing the visits while Oliver is in school so as to not confuse her.

Oliver was the cutest yesterday when he tried teaching his baby brother to color! He keeps wanting to call him Angelo Maxim the extreme. As he is Oliver Maxim the extreme! The closeness of Matson and Maxim is confusing him. He will get it. I opted to not tell his birthmom his new name today, I don't want to rock the boat. I am leaving all the touchy stuff alone for now until everything is final. She cannot change her mind but I just don't want to make things miserable for all of us. She gave us an incredible gift!

He has a name

Well the name debate has been ongoing. On Saturday Brynn and I made up a short list of names. The girls were down to Camden (Stephanie's choice), Preston and Matson (Brynn and Michelle liked both). On Sunday Don asked Stephanie if she like Preston or Matson and she said she didn't care. So on Monday on the way home from Disney with my parents we all talked and I asked Don if he had a preference. He said he thought Matson since he could call him Matt or Matty. You have to understand that Don is a plain Jane name guy. That he has this rule it has to be on the kid bicycle plates at the store. He really doesn't get it that everyone comes us with different names anymore. So then we were down to Matson or Mattson. Matson was my maternal grandmother's maiden name. I wanted it for Oliver but when his name was Maxim I thought Matson Maxim sounded terrible so I moved on. After speaking with my aunt on the spelling (the second t was dropped by my great grandfather for some reason) we still didn't know. Finally, I figured out Oliver is 6 letters so we went with one "t" so Matson would be two letters. So he is now known as Matson Angelo Baer. His name will be officially changed as part of the adoption proceedings. It is tough to remember to call him Matson!

Success!

What a very crazy and hectic morning but a successful one! The plan was for M to come in at 9:30 to the case manager's office to sign the paperwork and then we would bring A at 10:30 for a visit. When I got out of the shower at 9:30, I got a voicemail message saying M wanted to change them around things with the visit being first. We quickly flew out of the house (I forgot deodorant) and as we were pulling in at about 10:10 the case manager called to say M had stormed out of the signing upset about the paperwork stating that visitation was up to the adoptive parents. We pulled in and M saw us so I went up to talk to her and asked her to sit down with Don and I and talk. Fortunately today was Don's day off and he was with me. We all sat in a conference room and talked for a long time. Long story short is that I asked her to trust us with visitation just as she is trusting us to raise him and always love him. I told her that as of right now I am fine with visits but cannot tell her how things will play out down the road. Don asked her to write A a letter for him to someday read when he asks, etc. So then she decided to sign the papers. The case manager supervisor came and talked to her alone and wasn't entirely sure. M came out and we all talked about it and the supervisor felt more comfortable so they decided to get it done. The papers have to be read by the case manager with two witnesses and a notary present and it all has to be tape recorded. The notary asked me to leave (Don and the boys had already gone outside)! I was happy as I really didn't want it to ever be an issue that I was present. M never had second thoughts about letting him go just the visitation and his name. I told her we would keep Angelo as part of his name but couldn't promise more. I also promised to send letters and pictures through the PO Box no matter what. I told her about my prayers for her to find peace with this and hopefully she will. She has an amazing strength I do not have but doing this, she has given A two amazing gifts. So she signed! Seemed to take forever and ever! I am sad for her and her loses and have so much compassion for her.......she and God have given us an amazing gift! Now on to the adoption part!

9:30 today

Angelo's birthmom's appointment is at 9:30 this morning and then we are taking him for a visit at 10:30. So we will know if she signed at 10:30! I will post when we get home later today what is up. Praying for her to find peace with all of this. I have a sign in my family room that says "peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of God".....I truly hope she finds God's presence in her life and decision!