Miss Elizabeth has been an ugly screaming bath in the tub since her arrival and according to John has always screamed in the bath. Well, we blew up Oliver's duck tub for her two weeks ago and have been trying to get her to play in it with no luck. Tonight all of that changed and she was just a splishin' and a splashin'....she has a way to go before she is a lover of water but it is truly a 180 degree change over the kid who arrived a little over two weeks ago. Our friend Pete is a child psychologist and told Don that she has had a trauma with water to be so scared of it, the screams were just like Oliver's in Moscow. So sad! When it was the boys' turns for baths, she even was splashin' in the water over the edge! Of course she got her jammies all wet but who cares?
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
The Weekend
Overall the weekend was great! The kids did well up until yesterday when it was time for the visit with Mom.....On Saturday I got to go to the grocery store alone while Don stayed home with the boys and Elizabeth napped for over 3 hours. Then my great friend Tami came over and played with the boys while I puttered around the house putting laundry away, recapturing my kitchen counters, etc. We then had a nice lunch and put the boys down for naps while Don kept an eye on Elizabeth so I could nap too. I caught the creeping crud from the kids and then put the ugly nights up with John's hacking cough I really need some rest.
Sunday morning we managed to get to church only about 5 minutes late even with daylight savings:) My friend Tami had to attend as Don and I had John asking Tami to come sit with him on Sunday. Tami has been a member of our church for a bit but hasn't been the best on attendance as of late:( She finally bribed John that she would come to church and sit with him if he ate his lunch Saturday. He did and boy did he run to her when she walked up to church! Super sweet! Thanks Tami! Tami even got John to go to Sunday school. Major steps of progress.
We then quickly came home and changed so we could meet Mom at 12:00. Grandpa is now supervising visits in a public place. His homestudy isn't complete so they cannot take the kids there. Mom of course doesn't acknowledge the kids but starts talking to me. They showed up with the kids' older brother, whom the grandparents have permanent guardianship over, and the kids' cousins, whom the the grandparents also have permanent guardianship of.....need I say more? Well, I had to wait to see how they were going to get everyone in this 5 seater car. I made sure the kids were in their carseats and we left. Oliver says "where Lizzie? where John?", he is attaching to them already. Don, Oliver and I went to BJ's (like Costco and Sams) for a much needed stock up trip of just about everything. And then we went out for lunch and back home to unload and put Oliver down for a nap (he has the creeping crud too).
Don went alone to pick up the kids. He walked in to the house with Elizabeth and said "what an awful experience" which I already knew. I guess John screamed and cried. He fell asleep in the car on the way home so Don then carried him in and he woke up in tears. Don and I spent about an hour between us trying to talk to him but he wouldn't even look at us. I think he feels disloyal to Mom if he is pleasant to us especially after a visit. So sad. He finally fell asleep and so did Elizabeth for about 20 minutes. Don got a motorcycle ride in with our friend Pete. Pete is a child psychologist and offered us some good advise on reassuring John continually that none of this is his fault, he said kids his age blame themselves. So we are working on it. Lizzie got no real nap all day just a couple of catnaps. Both kids ended up having a pretty crudy day. John ended the day being pleasant but having a really hard time going to sleep. He was then up during the night coughing and throwing up.
We are back to the doctor this afternoon. Mom was going to come but couldn't find a ride. I really don't think her coming is good for John's mental state at this point. Neither kid is really feeling great yet but we are praying that will change quickly. Don sweetly shared last night that he has more energy than he has had in a long time and knows it is God's way of telling him "you are doing the right thing".
Sunday morning we managed to get to church only about 5 minutes late even with daylight savings:) My friend Tami had to attend as Don and I had John asking Tami to come sit with him on Sunday. Tami has been a member of our church for a bit but hasn't been the best on attendance as of late:( She finally bribed John that she would come to church and sit with him if he ate his lunch Saturday. He did and boy did he run to her when she walked up to church! Super sweet! Thanks Tami! Tami even got John to go to Sunday school. Major steps of progress.
We then quickly came home and changed so we could meet Mom at 12:00. Grandpa is now supervising visits in a public place. His homestudy isn't complete so they cannot take the kids there. Mom of course doesn't acknowledge the kids but starts talking to me. They showed up with the kids' older brother, whom the grandparents have permanent guardianship over, and the kids' cousins, whom the the grandparents also have permanent guardianship of.....need I say more? Well, I had to wait to see how they were going to get everyone in this 5 seater car. I made sure the kids were in their carseats and we left. Oliver says "where Lizzie? where John?", he is attaching to them already. Don, Oliver and I went to BJ's (like Costco and Sams) for a much needed stock up trip of just about everything. And then we went out for lunch and back home to unload and put Oliver down for a nap (he has the creeping crud too).
Don went alone to pick up the kids. He walked in to the house with Elizabeth and said "what an awful experience" which I already knew. I guess John screamed and cried. He fell asleep in the car on the way home so Don then carried him in and he woke up in tears. Don and I spent about an hour between us trying to talk to him but he wouldn't even look at us. I think he feels disloyal to Mom if he is pleasant to us especially after a visit. So sad. He finally fell asleep and so did Elizabeth for about 20 minutes. Don got a motorcycle ride in with our friend Pete. Pete is a child psychologist and offered us some good advise on reassuring John continually that none of this is his fault, he said kids his age blame themselves. So we are working on it. Lizzie got no real nap all day just a couple of catnaps. Both kids ended up having a pretty crudy day. John ended the day being pleasant but having a really hard time going to sleep. He was then up during the night coughing and throwing up.
We are back to the doctor this afternoon. Mom was going to come but couldn't find a ride. I really don't think her coming is good for John's mental state at this point. Neither kid is really feeling great yet but we are praying that will change quickly. Don sweetly shared last night that he has more energy than he has had in a long time and knows it is God's way of telling him "you are doing the right thing".
Friday, March 12, 2010
Wednesday and Thursday
I am enjoying some quiet time this Friday morning as it is pouring rain and the house is quiet as the kids are still sleeping. Our DishTV is out due to the rain so I am going to update everyone on the last two days...one great one and one horrible day.
Wednesday ended up being a pretty great day with the kids, probably the best so far. A fun and happy John woke up, got dressed and ate breakfast. Of course, he gave me a bunch of challenges along the way but a night and day difference over the couple of days before. I took him to school and picked up a silent kid but by the time we were home he was talking and fine. I got home to a voicemail from John's teacher to call Mom about Elizabeth's upcoming doctor appointment. She knows she needs to work this through the case manager and I am the one who sets doctor appointments. Their case manager/social worker came for her weekly visit after we got home. She told me to ignore the teacher's message. By this time Elizabeth was down for her nap and I was praying for Oliver to fall asleep while reading. John was silent to Ann Marie as I expected but the end of the visit was at least acknowledging her. She was here for about an hour. She thinks I am being too soft with John and need to stop counting before pushing him as he is testing me. I told John that I am not going to continue counting and he has to start doing what I ask him to do. This is tough because I count with my own kids, maybe it is one of my parenting downfalls.....
Wednesday night I was obligated to go to church as I am "chairing" the Easter Egg Hunt at our church and we needed to start our long task of sorting and stuffing thousands of eggs. We have soup and sandwich at 6:00 and I had agreed to meet the lady is in charge of the eggs at 5:00. Well both Don and Brynn were working so that meant taking all 3 little ones with me. I put Elizabeth in the stroller and let the boys color in one of the Sunday school rooms off of the room we were all working in. When it was time for dinner, John invited our music director Bill to join us and we soon had many of the older members of our church at our table. It was a challenging meal trying to get kids to eat and have decent table manners.....shoes were placed on the table at one point. Fortunately, Don arrived and took the boys and my dear friend Amy also showed up and took Miss Elizabeth for me and I was able to enjoy a few minutes. Don then took all three kids home to put to bed while I worked at church. I actually enjoyed our Lenten service and then stayed till 9:00 working on eggs. Don said the kids were a breeze to put to bed. John was running a temperature when I felt him when I got home but I couldn't get him to wake up to take anything. It was a really great day!!!
Thursday started off with me being very optimistic and getting up to a quiet house. I felt John and he still had a temp so I decided not to wake anyone as he wasn't going to school. The first to arise was Oliver and he and I got to spend a little time snuggled in my chair before we heard Miss Elizabeth. John wasn't too far behind and got up with a high temp 102.5 and a very disgusting nose. He has had such an ugly cough and nose since we got him but this was much worse. I gave him some apple juice, Tylenol and cough syrup and put him on the couch to watch Chuggington. By this time I smelled two poopie diapers. So, I got Miss Elizabeth dressed and then moved on to Mr. Oliver. Picture diaper open and all of a sudden you hear vomiting in your family room and it running down the hallway to the bathroom. I quickly finished Oliver's diaper and walked in the bathroom to find John (bless his heart) over the toilet with the two longest snot trails coming out of each nostril. It was awful, I have never seen anything like it. So while Miss Elizabeth is screaming I was scrubbing vomit from the couch, floors, etc. I gave John some ginger ale and 2 animal crackers and put him on the other couch.
At this point I picked Elizabeth up and called the kids' pediatrician. This kid has been in there office twice in the last week so I am hopeful that they will just call in some antibiotics for him as it appears to have moved in to a respiratory infection. Nope, the nurse practitioner called me to say that it is just viral and to give him more clear liquids, etc. same thing as Tuesday. When I raised a stink she said "well I guess you could bring him in".....I just hung up. They really seemed to have missed so much with these kids over the last years, it is sad. Then John's teacher calls to tell me that Mom called her and I need to call her back as Elizabeth has a doctor's appointment. I explained what Ann Marie told me the day before and for her to have Mom call Ann Marie. Mom knew I had already taken E to the doctor the week before.
Well I then try calling Ann Marie to figure out what to do about the doctor. John is still in a miserable state, Elizabeth is miserable too with something including a nasty nose, cough and teething. I put Elizabeth in her high chair and Oliver in his chair for breakfast while I try and make some calls. I still have to spoon feed Elizabeth baby foods, etc. So I have my notepad, etc. inf front of me too......Ann Marie doesn't answer her office phone or cell phone so I call back to speak with her supervisor. This doctor is awful and I really want the kids on our insurance to get out of the Medicaid system of doctors. I make about 4 phone calls with no cooperation from anyone on how to get them to see someone else except to take them to the "free clinic".....After melting down and calling Don to come home, I give up on breakfast and wait for Don to come home. I got some more Tylenol in John and he kept it down.
After about 10 phone calls, I finally get permission to put them on our Blue Cross/Blue Shile!! I got with Don's HR person and the insurance with be retroactive to the 1st the day we got the kids but unverifiable till Friday as it takes overnight for it get in to BC/BS's system. So, I then call Oliver's pediatrician (whom I love) and they won't take the foster kids....not continuity of care. I then called another pediatrician's office that I have heard good things about and they tell me that what I want them to do is fraud by not billing till tomorrow. Fortunately, my neighbor/friend supervises all the offices of this practice but she is on vacation but someone that works directly under her finally works a miracle after many calls. At 1:30 just as John had nodded off without lunch on the family room floor and Elizabeth is napping (since 11:00) I am called an told to hurry as the kids have a 2:00 appointment about 30 minutes away.....Don and I quickly load up John and Elizabeth and I take them while Don stays home with Oliver. The new doctor is older and a bit testy but super kind to the kids. He first looks at E and cannot see in her ears as they are packed with wax. We hold her down and he tries to remove some of the wax and is successful enough in the one ear to see she has a raging ear infection. (I swear the old doctor looked in her ears last Thursday and didn't say a thing) When I asked about the shape of her head he says "she has laid somewhere for a very long time". Makes me tear up.
Then it is John's turn. He is not happy but tries and cooperates pretty well. The doctor says yes this is all viral but the fever and knock in his chest have him suspicious of pneumonia. So he sends us off to the radiology place down the road after a much needed dose of Tylenol. So, after a couple hours and much bribery John's x-ray is done and we are told to return to the pediatrician's office. I know this means pneumonia and am just praying they don't have to admit him to the hospital. That is the last thing this kid needs. They said it isn't too bad of a case and give him an antibiotic injection (poor kid) but I know it will quickly put him on the mend. We leave their office at 5:45 after about 4 hours of being in doctor's offices. I told Don my new phone paid for itself with Disney Channel on it!!! John and Elizabeth were so good, bless their little hearts. How the heck does a kid have pneumonia and was just to the doctor two days before? How did they miss this? I made all my phone calls to Ann Marie and the Guardian ad Litem on my way home and drove through Sonic for a lovely dinner. I threw my food down quick and fed Lizzie and then ran to have Rx's filled while Don put kids to bed.
John and Oliver are up now. First thing Oliver says is "where's Lizzie?" I am keeping John home again today and they both go back to the doctor on Monday for follow ups. I wonder where we would be if I had listened to their old pediatrician? In the hospital in a few days? Good news is that we got the kids in better care and are out of the Medicaid doctor nightmare! Don keeps telling me we have to just focus on our purpose, the kids. He is right but man is it challenging. The social worker said to me "if the kids are too much for you" and I said "it isn't the kids, it is dealing with the system that is too much"....
Wednesday ended up being a pretty great day with the kids, probably the best so far. A fun and happy John woke up, got dressed and ate breakfast. Of course, he gave me a bunch of challenges along the way but a night and day difference over the couple of days before. I took him to school and picked up a silent kid but by the time we were home he was talking and fine. I got home to a voicemail from John's teacher to call Mom about Elizabeth's upcoming doctor appointment. She knows she needs to work this through the case manager and I am the one who sets doctor appointments. Their case manager/social worker came for her weekly visit after we got home. She told me to ignore the teacher's message. By this time Elizabeth was down for her nap and I was praying for Oliver to fall asleep while reading. John was silent to Ann Marie as I expected but the end of the visit was at least acknowledging her. She was here for about an hour. She thinks I am being too soft with John and need to stop counting before pushing him as he is testing me. I told John that I am not going to continue counting and he has to start doing what I ask him to do. This is tough because I count with my own kids, maybe it is one of my parenting downfalls.....
Wednesday night I was obligated to go to church as I am "chairing" the Easter Egg Hunt at our church and we needed to start our long task of sorting and stuffing thousands of eggs. We have soup and sandwich at 6:00 and I had agreed to meet the lady is in charge of the eggs at 5:00. Well both Don and Brynn were working so that meant taking all 3 little ones with me. I put Elizabeth in the stroller and let the boys color in one of the Sunday school rooms off of the room we were all working in. When it was time for dinner, John invited our music director Bill to join us and we soon had many of the older members of our church at our table. It was a challenging meal trying to get kids to eat and have decent table manners.....shoes were placed on the table at one point. Fortunately, Don arrived and took the boys and my dear friend Amy also showed up and took Miss Elizabeth for me and I was able to enjoy a few minutes. Don then took all three kids home to put to bed while I worked at church. I actually enjoyed our Lenten service and then stayed till 9:00 working on eggs. Don said the kids were a breeze to put to bed. John was running a temperature when I felt him when I got home but I couldn't get him to wake up to take anything. It was a really great day!!!
Thursday started off with me being very optimistic and getting up to a quiet house. I felt John and he still had a temp so I decided not to wake anyone as he wasn't going to school. The first to arise was Oliver and he and I got to spend a little time snuggled in my chair before we heard Miss Elizabeth. John wasn't too far behind and got up with a high temp 102.5 and a very disgusting nose. He has had such an ugly cough and nose since we got him but this was much worse. I gave him some apple juice, Tylenol and cough syrup and put him on the couch to watch Chuggington. By this time I smelled two poopie diapers. So, I got Miss Elizabeth dressed and then moved on to Mr. Oliver. Picture diaper open and all of a sudden you hear vomiting in your family room and it running down the hallway to the bathroom. I quickly finished Oliver's diaper and walked in the bathroom to find John (bless his heart) over the toilet with the two longest snot trails coming out of each nostril. It was awful, I have never seen anything like it. So while Miss Elizabeth is screaming I was scrubbing vomit from the couch, floors, etc. I gave John some ginger ale and 2 animal crackers and put him on the other couch.
At this point I picked Elizabeth up and called the kids' pediatrician. This kid has been in there office twice in the last week so I am hopeful that they will just call in some antibiotics for him as it appears to have moved in to a respiratory infection. Nope, the nurse practitioner called me to say that it is just viral and to give him more clear liquids, etc. same thing as Tuesday. When I raised a stink she said "well I guess you could bring him in".....I just hung up. They really seemed to have missed so much with these kids over the last years, it is sad. Then John's teacher calls to tell me that Mom called her and I need to call her back as Elizabeth has a doctor's appointment. I explained what Ann Marie told me the day before and for her to have Mom call Ann Marie. Mom knew I had already taken E to the doctor the week before.
Well I then try calling Ann Marie to figure out what to do about the doctor. John is still in a miserable state, Elizabeth is miserable too with something including a nasty nose, cough and teething. I put Elizabeth in her high chair and Oliver in his chair for breakfast while I try and make some calls. I still have to spoon feed Elizabeth baby foods, etc. So I have my notepad, etc. inf front of me too......Ann Marie doesn't answer her office phone or cell phone so I call back to speak with her supervisor. This doctor is awful and I really want the kids on our insurance to get out of the Medicaid system of doctors. I make about 4 phone calls with no cooperation from anyone on how to get them to see someone else except to take them to the "free clinic".....After melting down and calling Don to come home, I give up on breakfast and wait for Don to come home. I got some more Tylenol in John and he kept it down.
After about 10 phone calls, I finally get permission to put them on our Blue Cross/Blue Shile!! I got with Don's HR person and the insurance with be retroactive to the 1st the day we got the kids but unverifiable till Friday as it takes overnight for it get in to BC/BS's system. So, I then call Oliver's pediatrician (whom I love) and they won't take the foster kids....not continuity of care. I then called another pediatrician's office that I have heard good things about and they tell me that what I want them to do is fraud by not billing till tomorrow. Fortunately, my neighbor/friend supervises all the offices of this practice but she is on vacation but someone that works directly under her finally works a miracle after many calls. At 1:30 just as John had nodded off without lunch on the family room floor and Elizabeth is napping (since 11:00) I am called an told to hurry as the kids have a 2:00 appointment about 30 minutes away.....Don and I quickly load up John and Elizabeth and I take them while Don stays home with Oliver. The new doctor is older and a bit testy but super kind to the kids. He first looks at E and cannot see in her ears as they are packed with wax. We hold her down and he tries to remove some of the wax and is successful enough in the one ear to see she has a raging ear infection. (I swear the old doctor looked in her ears last Thursday and didn't say a thing) When I asked about the shape of her head he says "she has laid somewhere for a very long time". Makes me tear up.
Then it is John's turn. He is not happy but tries and cooperates pretty well. The doctor says yes this is all viral but the fever and knock in his chest have him suspicious of pneumonia. So he sends us off to the radiology place down the road after a much needed dose of Tylenol. So, after a couple hours and much bribery John's x-ray is done and we are told to return to the pediatrician's office. I know this means pneumonia and am just praying they don't have to admit him to the hospital. That is the last thing this kid needs. They said it isn't too bad of a case and give him an antibiotic injection (poor kid) but I know it will quickly put him on the mend. We leave their office at 5:45 after about 4 hours of being in doctor's offices. I told Don my new phone paid for itself with Disney Channel on it!!! John and Elizabeth were so good, bless their little hearts. How the heck does a kid have pneumonia and was just to the doctor two days before? How did they miss this? I made all my phone calls to Ann Marie and the Guardian ad Litem on my way home and drove through Sonic for a lovely dinner. I threw my food down quick and fed Lizzie and then ran to have Rx's filled while Don put kids to bed.
John and Oliver are up now. First thing Oliver says is "where's Lizzie?" I am keeping John home again today and they both go back to the doctor on Monday for follow ups. I wonder where we would be if I had listened to their old pediatrician? In the hospital in a few days? Good news is that we got the kids in better care and are out of the Medicaid doctor nightmare! Don keeps telling me we have to just focus on our purpose, the kids. He is right but man is it challenging. The social worker said to me "if the kids are too much for you" and I said "it isn't the kids, it is dealing with the system that is too much"....
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
What I woke up to this morning!
The next post is the super sweet letter my daughter left for me this morning. She is so sweet and wise beyond her 17 years. I am truly blessed to be her Momma!
Today I also woke up to "Fun John" as we are calling him. Last nights phone call was a disaster but provided John and I the opportunity to lay on my bed and talk and spend some quiet time alone. We talked about "Sad John" and "Fun John" and how it is ok to be sad and it is also ok to have fun and enjoy his time with us. But, that Fun John is the guy who needs to get dressed in the morning and sit at the breakfast table. Honestly, I think the big influence is riding around in the Power Wheels Truck but I can try and believe it is my sweet talking and masterful mothering! LOL!!
Today I also woke up to "Fun John" as we are calling him. Last nights phone call was a disaster but provided John and I the opportunity to lay on my bed and talk and spend some quiet time alone. We talked about "Sad John" and "Fun John" and how it is ok to be sad and it is also ok to have fun and enjoy his time with us. But, that Fun John is the guy who needs to get dressed in the morning and sit at the breakfast table. Honestly, I think the big influence is riding around in the Power Wheels Truck but I can try and believe it is my sweet talking and masterful mothering! LOL!!
Good Morning Momma!
Never forget that I love you! You are doing the right thing for these kids, as frustrating as it may be! One day, I will fix all wrongs in the system so people who actually deserve to be parents are parents.:)
Love,
Fred
Love,
Fred
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Crazy Day Tuesday
Oh boy, what have I gotten myself in to? Yesterday and today have been a bit overwhelming for me. I am feeling better at this moment short of the disaster my house has turned in to. For those who know me well, housekeeping is not one of my strong points so when I say it is a mess it is pretty bad. My kitchen counters are covered and my kitchen floor is disgusting and I am allowing a baby to crawl on it. I have 4 baskets of laundry to fold and put away. Tomorrow the social worker comes for her weekly visit in our last chat of the day today I told her to not look at my floors and she laughed.
John has become a silent stiff body most of the time expcept for his constant coughing. Breakfast and getting out the door was just about the end of my fostering. Fortunately he went to school and I was able to recover my whits. We decided going in to this that we would never call and ask to have children removed from us unless it was dangerous or detrimental for our other kids. I know people who have had attachment difficulties and have disrupted their adoptions/placements and never really understood it but have tried to be supportive of them. Well this last week has opened my eyes to their plight. John has challenged my patience, love and understanding unlike any 40 year old has much less a 4 year old. It is not that I blame him or don't understand that it is an unbelievably horrific experience that he lives every day. But, when you have child who refuses to speak to you, acknowledge you or be a participant in the simplest of tasks it really challenges you. I cannot imagine what it is like for people who have violent children or those with much more severe issues than John. Deep down he is a really sweet little boy and he was the one that sat at the dinner table tonight but from the time I woke him this morning till about 4:30 I didn't see him. Heartbreaking, isn't it?
This morning after our disasterous start, Oliver, Elizabeth and I went to Oliver's speech therapy and Elizabeth's PT, OT and feeding therapy. We got stuck in traffic (spring break and spring training make for a nightmare) and were late. Don met me there to take Oliver to his therapy while I attended Elizabeth's. You can only imagine Oliver running around while I try to pay attention to E. So Mom was there again this week. She got a bit confrontational with me about Sunday and the kids' care or in my opinion lack of it. In court on Monday (unsuccessful) my version of things was present by their social worker and guardian ad litem. I cut Mom off and said my responsibility is with the kids and I have a duty to report everything that occurs. She had the dirtiest feet...overgrown toenails that curled with black stuff under them and in the cuticles...I almost hurled! She took about 5 or 6 phone calls on her cell phone and was more interested in debating everything with me than seeing what we can do to help Elizabeth. I try to work with her several times a day on the floor. She is crawling all fours and wasn't last Tuesday:)
We then went to lunch with Don and picked John up from school. Brought Oliver home to spend time with Brynn. I look John and Elizabeth to John's doctor to figure the cough out. He refused to cooperate with his exam:( But just has croup, he is better already!
Enough complaining! I do like it but just wish I could get ahead of the game. I don't seem to find time for other things and know the kids aren't ready for me to have others care for them. We will figure this out. We may only have John till mid April when there is the next hearing. Little E will probably be around for a while. I have decided from now on we will only have one baby for a foster child. Of course being me I will change my mind:)
John has become a silent stiff body most of the time expcept for his constant coughing. Breakfast and getting out the door was just about the end of my fostering. Fortunately he went to school and I was able to recover my whits. We decided going in to this that we would never call and ask to have children removed from us unless it was dangerous or detrimental for our other kids. I know people who have had attachment difficulties and have disrupted their adoptions/placements and never really understood it but have tried to be supportive of them. Well this last week has opened my eyes to their plight. John has challenged my patience, love and understanding unlike any 40 year old has much less a 4 year old. It is not that I blame him or don't understand that it is an unbelievably horrific experience that he lives every day. But, when you have child who refuses to speak to you, acknowledge you or be a participant in the simplest of tasks it really challenges you. I cannot imagine what it is like for people who have violent children or those with much more severe issues than John. Deep down he is a really sweet little boy and he was the one that sat at the dinner table tonight but from the time I woke him this morning till about 4:30 I didn't see him. Heartbreaking, isn't it?
This morning after our disasterous start, Oliver, Elizabeth and I went to Oliver's speech therapy and Elizabeth's PT, OT and feeding therapy. We got stuck in traffic (spring break and spring training make for a nightmare) and were late. Don met me there to take Oliver to his therapy while I attended Elizabeth's. You can only imagine Oliver running around while I try to pay attention to E. So Mom was there again this week. She got a bit confrontational with me about Sunday and the kids' care or in my opinion lack of it. In court on Monday (unsuccessful) my version of things was present by their social worker and guardian ad litem. I cut Mom off and said my responsibility is with the kids and I have a duty to report everything that occurs. She had the dirtiest feet...overgrown toenails that curled with black stuff under them and in the cuticles...I almost hurled! She took about 5 or 6 phone calls on her cell phone and was more interested in debating everything with me than seeing what we can do to help Elizabeth. I try to work with her several times a day on the floor. She is crawling all fours and wasn't last Tuesday:)
We then went to lunch with Don and picked John up from school. Brought Oliver home to spend time with Brynn. I look John and Elizabeth to John's doctor to figure the cough out. He refused to cooperate with his exam:( But just has croup, he is better already!
Enough complaining! I do like it but just wish I could get ahead of the game. I don't seem to find time for other things and know the kids aren't ready for me to have others care for them. We will figure this out. We may only have John till mid April when there is the next hearing. Little E will probably be around for a while. I have decided from now on we will only have one baby for a foster child. Of course being me I will change my mind:)
Monday, March 8, 2010
The weekend
The weekend flew by and I am sad to lose my helper with the kids a.k.a Don. John had a pretty tough weekend. He just breaks my heart. The kids had a visit with Mom yesterday afternoon and it was a disaster! I got a call from her friend half way through the visit to be told Elizabeth hadn't been taken out of her carseat the entire time and wasn't fed lunch (fortunately we sent John with his lunch in his hands). Not sure why this friend didn't intervene but I think she has had her fill of Mom. The visit was from noon to 3:00 and poor E never got lunch. The friend who was supervising took everyone to the park/baseball fields as it was her son's picture day. John played with all the kids, Elizabeth sat in her carseat and Mom talked on the phone. Anymore it just makes me mad. When I met everyone to get the kids back John threw up twice in the parking lot. All Mom said was "you didn't chew your food"...what the heck? His cough is awful and he is coughing up flem non-stop but I think this was more due to stress. I called the doctor when we got home and they said really he just has to get rid of the flem that has built up from not having nebulizer treatments for so long. Really sad, last thing this kid needs.
There is an emergency re-hearing this morning on the shelter of the kids. So, I was on the phone with the friend who supervises visits and the guardian ad litem several times trying to get all the information properly communicated. Mom moved in to a trailer on Saturday and is thinking she will get the kids back. The neglect portion of the case is all new and not really well documentate yet. Everyone involved says she won't be getting them back today. My thoughts are that she is too lazy and self-involved to take care of them properly. I know now why Elizabeth's head is so mishaped, she has spent way way way too much time in her carseat.
Church yesterday was interesting. Oliver was only too happy to go to the nursery after children's sermon while John wanted to stay with Mr. Don. Elizabeth was only happy to make the rounds sitting with all of our great friends whom are like aunts and uncles to our kids. John even dozed off on my lap for a few minutes and was super good playing on the floor during the sermon.
I just feel awful for these kids! Oliver seems to be doing well but is having a tough time getting enough sleep with the big change in our routine. Brynn is doing better and wanted to go to the hearing today to make sure these kids are not returned home. Please pray for these kids' well being!
There is an emergency re-hearing this morning on the shelter of the kids. So, I was on the phone with the friend who supervises visits and the guardian ad litem several times trying to get all the information properly communicated. Mom moved in to a trailer on Saturday and is thinking she will get the kids back. The neglect portion of the case is all new and not really well documentate yet. Everyone involved says she won't be getting them back today. My thoughts are that she is too lazy and self-involved to take care of them properly. I know now why Elizabeth's head is so mishaped, she has spent way way way too much time in her carseat.
Church yesterday was interesting. Oliver was only too happy to go to the nursery after children's sermon while John wanted to stay with Mr. Don. Elizabeth was only happy to make the rounds sitting with all of our great friends whom are like aunts and uncles to our kids. John even dozed off on my lap for a few minutes and was super good playing on the floor during the sermon.
I just feel awful for these kids! Oliver seems to be doing well but is having a tough time getting enough sleep with the big change in our routine. Brynn is doing better and wanted to go to the hearing today to make sure these kids are not returned home. Please pray for these kids' well being!
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