Not so sure!

Well a lot has changed in the last 24 hours! At 1:49 a.m. the birthmom texted Angelo's guardian ad litem that she had made a decision and decided to let him go......this morning she called the case manager and cancelled her appointment for today to come up with a new visitation schedule and made an appointment for Friday to come in and sign the volunatary relinquishment paperwork.........I am praying that she follows through. She did say today that she knew this yesterday but was too embarassed to say it in court in front of so many people (full audience for cases after hers) and the judge. She just needs to speak with her attorney between now and then to meet a requirement of Florida law. I will be happy when the paperwork is signed and the 3 days to revoke it has passed. Please pray for Angelo!!!

And, what will the three girls decide to call him???? We have given them the pleasure of naming him, but all three have to agree, and we have final veto power!

Ugh!

Things are not proceeding as we had hoped. The birthmom has not signed the paperwork relinquishing her parental rights. Makes me so sad! There was a judicial review hearing yesterday and the judge has increased her requirements to get him back, things she has said in the past she won't do. She said in court she is considering the adoption but isn't ready to sign yet. The judge did add adoption as a concurrent case plan goal. We go back in March for the next hearing. She has so much to try and accomplish. I did appreciate that the judge remembered her from her last time in his courtroom for two of her other children, means he knows her history. So now we just wait and pray for something to happen. I am feeling used and abused by her at this point but can understand and appreciate how seriously she is taking this. I had a crazy phone converstation with her the other day and decided she really doesn't understand adoption. She doesn't want us to change his name (even his last name), wants weekly visits forever, and wants to stay "Mom" and I be something else. I also realized how mental illness doesn't allow a person to see things clearly as she kept saying the most bizarre things to me. We cannot agree to her conditions as she is looking for permanent guardians or foster parents for him not and adoptive family. She just doesn't want to do the very long list of things the judge is requiring of her. It is all heartbreaking. I am leaving it in God's hands, where it needs to be. Please pray for Angelo to have a happy, well adjust life in spite of all of this. We love him and will care for him as long as we can.

The big news

Last Thursday we got a big surprise......Angelo's birthmom asked us to adopt him. After an incredibly long weekend filled with silence, tears, praying, sleepless nights, a moving sermon directed at us and yes, some arguing but not much. We decided to say yes on Monday after we had a question answered which was (Would she be willing to consider another family for Angelo if we said no?). On Monday we took Oliver and Angelo to the park and I set out to make some calls. Before I could even ask A's case manager to ask the birthmom, Angelo's guardian ad litem called me and said the birthmom had called him and really wanted to know our answer because if we said no she was going to try and figure out how to keep him. Well needless to say our question was answered and I said "tell her we will adopt him". The girls seem to be taking it well and understand our decision. We feel blessed and pray Angelo won't mind old parents!

We now have begun the wait for the birthmom to sign the paperwork and the state to proceed with the termination of parental rights. There is a hearing on Tuesday and we are hopeful that the termination portion can be heard and entered by the judge then. Prayers are needed to get this all accomplished. I am frustrated as it is not everyone's priority........

Some Photos

Two Kirov Cuties!

Time to catch up

The last few weeks have been very eventful for our family. John went home permantly (we hope) on the 22nd of July and seems to be doing well. As I type this Don is seeing him for the first time. We have all talked on the phone several times and he seems happy. It will be interesting to hear how things went.

On Monday July 26th, Oliver, Angelo and I drove to Orlando to see my very dear friend, Donna and 3 of her kids. Her daughter, Ally was in a softball tournament and we got to watch her play several times. I think of Donna as my kindred spirit. We just fit in together and there are no false pretenses. Donna is the most down to earth person and she just knows me. We have so many birthdays and anniversaries in common that our stars must have aligned. Her son, Daniel is 10 months older than Oliver and was adopted from the Kirov City Baby Home 10 months before Oliver. Donna and I became friends when Danny was home about a week and they live in Souther California. Russian adoption is really the luck of the draw so when we got Oliver's referral, I somehow knew God's hand was involved. Ally's team won the tournament and Ally got MVP of the tournament.

We came home Wednesday night to turn around and head out Thursday evening to head home to Omaha. Angelo stayed with my friend Amy and did pretty well give the circumstances. Thank you Amy and Justine. Our church family was hit with a horrible loss on Friday night. We got the call about 9:30 central time that our dear friends, Tommy and Karen's 11 year old son had been killed in a boating accident in the Keys that evening. The majority of our week in the midwest was spent with our hearts and minds with our family back in Fort Myers, tears frequently filled Don and I's eyes and we looked at each for comfort. I need to explain to you all that we all live in SW Florida away from our families and have all formed an amazing bond, one that God's hand created. When Don's nephew was tragically killed in an auto accident a couple of years ago we realized what a family we have at our church and how they would hold us up but never realized it would be a reality.

Today, was our first day back at church and I am not sure how they all stood so strong during this tragic time as I just wanted to fall apart. In this amazingly small world I am yet amazed at how God's hand can work. Karen has a good friend and former neighbor who has a daughter from Russia and when we started talking Russian adoption bubbly Karen said "You have to talk to my friend Kathy Durkee". Well I did and Kathy and I chat every now and then about things in the adoption world and convey messages through Karen and about Karen to each other. Kathy was able to drive down this week to support Karen and Tommy. She was able to provide them love and support when we couldn't and was able to witness first hand our amazing church family. They had over 800 people attend Michael's service Wednesday! Totally amazing.....please pray for Tommy, Karen, Eric and Christopher Duda as they somehow face life without Michael......

We are now preparing for Brynn to head off to Stetson on Friday and move in to her dorm on Saturday morning. Bittersweet is all I can say. She turned 18 on the 6th, another bittersweet moment. Oliver and Angelo are great and we are all doing good too! More later, have to take Brynn to her birthday dinner two days late.

John is leaving us

I went to John's reunification staffing today and it was decided that John would be going home tomorrow evening. He could have gone home tonight but Don has a union meeting tonight and it would probably be best for him to be a part of it. I am honestly (not proudly) looking forward to John going home. I need some peace and quiet and time to work on some of Oliver's less than pleasant learned behaviours. The worst one is "don't say that" with his hand up over and over again every time you say something to him that he doesn't want to hear.....

Angelo is doing good. He was adjudicated a dependent of the State of Florida today and became a long term foster child. His mom's drug screen from last week came back positive today too. The judge ordered that unsupervised visits be worked on and eventually allowed but he didn't know about the positive drug screen. Not really sure how it works from here. Also Mom has no real place to live for them to do a homestudy. So, I am not sure where this will lead for all of us.

Next week should be fun as Oliver, Angelo and I are all off to Orlando for 3 days to visit my dear friend Donna and her Kirov cutie, Daniel! Cannot wait. We are then home for about 24 hours and then off to Omaha for a visit. Angelo is staying with my good friend, Amy while we are gone.....crazy times ahead!

Quick Update

Baby Angelo is still with us, had his one month well baby visit yesterday and is thriving at 10lbs. 14oz. and 22.5" long! He is growing like a weed. Oliver and the rest of us are slowly falling in love with the little sweetie. Things are not going well for his mom at this point. She was evicted from her place yesterday and has a long way to go now before she would be able to get Angelo back. Yes, his name is growing on me. He is still a great sleeper and just wakes once or twice each night to eat. We have had probably four or five rough nights in the last weeks. I am not complaining one drop.

John was supposed to be going home in a few weeks but we have had a major hiccup in the plans. His mom up and decided to take off to Indiana because of a friend's relative's impending death but it never happened. She missed one weekday visit and last weekend's overnight visit. After the fact we were told that the relative has had cancer for many years and mom had only met her a couple of times. Well Mom is finally back and John is seeing her today for the first time in a week and a half. Hopefully things will now be back on track. He has been devastated by this all. So sad!

We have done some great stuff with him in the last weeks. He has a bucket list that we are working on. This poor kid had never been to a swimming pool, the beach, a baseball game, zoo or much else. I honestly think he believed Walmart was the only store in town. On his bucket list there were five things left and we are slowly checking them off. We went to the Mote Aquarium in Sarasota, a petting zoo in the Orlando area with some dear friends (hoping for the Naples Zoo too) he has dinner at the fire station scheduled for next week (2nights as the A and B shifts both want the opportunity), have to find a train for him to ride yet and there is one more that escapes me right now. My mind is going!

Oliver is having a language explosion and is blowing us away. He still has some frustrating times when really important stuff gets repeated over and over and we cannot figure out what he has to say. Brynn is counting down the days till she moves away to Stetson. There are days I am sad and other days I cannot wait. I think God makes teens so challenging so it is easier to see them leave the nest. Steph is doing good and Michelle passed her boards a couple weeks ago and is licensed RN now!