Two Kirov Cuties!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Time to catch up
The last few weeks have been very eventful for our family. John went home permantly (we hope) on the 22nd of July and seems to be doing well. As I type this Don is seeing him for the first time. We have all talked on the phone several times and he seems happy. It will be interesting to hear how things went.
On Monday July 26th, Oliver, Angelo and I drove to Orlando to see my very dear friend, Donna and 3 of her kids. Her daughter, Ally was in a softball tournament and we got to watch her play several times. I think of Donna as my kindred spirit. We just fit in together and there are no false pretenses. Donna is the most down to earth person and she just knows me. We have so many birthdays and anniversaries in common that our stars must have aligned. Her son, Daniel is 10 months older than Oliver and was adopted from the Kirov City Baby Home 10 months before Oliver. Donna and I became friends when Danny was home about a week and they live in Souther California. Russian adoption is really the luck of the draw so when we got Oliver's referral, I somehow knew God's hand was involved. Ally's team won the tournament and Ally got MVP of the tournament.
We came home Wednesday night to turn around and head out Thursday evening to head home to Omaha. Angelo stayed with my friend Amy and did pretty well give the circumstances. Thank you Amy and Justine. Our church family was hit with a horrible loss on Friday night. We got the call about 9:30 central time that our dear friends, Tommy and Karen's 11 year old son had been killed in a boating accident in the Keys that evening. The majority of our week in the midwest was spent with our hearts and minds with our family back in Fort Myers, tears frequently filled Don and I's eyes and we looked at each for comfort. I need to explain to you all that we all live in SW Florida away from our families and have all formed an amazing bond, one that God's hand created. When Don's nephew was tragically killed in an auto accident a couple of years ago we realized what a family we have at our church and how they would hold us up but never realized it would be a reality.
Today, was our first day back at church and I am not sure how they all stood so strong during this tragic time as I just wanted to fall apart. In this amazingly small world I am yet amazed at how God's hand can work. Karen has a good friend and former neighbor who has a daughter from Russia and when we started talking Russian adoption bubbly Karen said "You have to talk to my friend Kathy Durkee". Well I did and Kathy and I chat every now and then about things in the adoption world and convey messages through Karen and about Karen to each other. Kathy was able to drive down this week to support Karen and Tommy. She was able to provide them love and support when we couldn't and was able to witness first hand our amazing church family. They had over 800 people attend Michael's service Wednesday! Totally amazing.....please pray for Tommy, Karen, Eric and Christopher Duda as they somehow face life without Michael......
We are now preparing for Brynn to head off to Stetson on Friday and move in to her dorm on Saturday morning. Bittersweet is all I can say. She turned 18 on the 6th, another bittersweet moment. Oliver and Angelo are great and we are all doing good too! More later, have to take Brynn to her birthday dinner two days late.
On Monday July 26th, Oliver, Angelo and I drove to Orlando to see my very dear friend, Donna and 3 of her kids. Her daughter, Ally was in a softball tournament and we got to watch her play several times. I think of Donna as my kindred spirit. We just fit in together and there are no false pretenses. Donna is the most down to earth person and she just knows me. We have so many birthdays and anniversaries in common that our stars must have aligned. Her son, Daniel is 10 months older than Oliver and was adopted from the Kirov City Baby Home 10 months before Oliver. Donna and I became friends when Danny was home about a week and they live in Souther California. Russian adoption is really the luck of the draw so when we got Oliver's referral, I somehow knew God's hand was involved. Ally's team won the tournament and Ally got MVP of the tournament.
We came home Wednesday night to turn around and head out Thursday evening to head home to Omaha. Angelo stayed with my friend Amy and did pretty well give the circumstances. Thank you Amy and Justine. Our church family was hit with a horrible loss on Friday night. We got the call about 9:30 central time that our dear friends, Tommy and Karen's 11 year old son had been killed in a boating accident in the Keys that evening. The majority of our week in the midwest was spent with our hearts and minds with our family back in Fort Myers, tears frequently filled Don and I's eyes and we looked at each for comfort. I need to explain to you all that we all live in SW Florida away from our families and have all formed an amazing bond, one that God's hand created. When Don's nephew was tragically killed in an auto accident a couple of years ago we realized what a family we have at our church and how they would hold us up but never realized it would be a reality.
Today, was our first day back at church and I am not sure how they all stood so strong during this tragic time as I just wanted to fall apart. In this amazingly small world I am yet amazed at how God's hand can work. Karen has a good friend and former neighbor who has a daughter from Russia and when we started talking Russian adoption bubbly Karen said "You have to talk to my friend Kathy Durkee". Well I did and Kathy and I chat every now and then about things in the adoption world and convey messages through Karen and about Karen to each other. Kathy was able to drive down this week to support Karen and Tommy. She was able to provide them love and support when we couldn't and was able to witness first hand our amazing church family. They had over 800 people attend Michael's service Wednesday! Totally amazing.....please pray for Tommy, Karen, Eric and Christopher Duda as they somehow face life without Michael......
We are now preparing for Brynn to head off to Stetson on Friday and move in to her dorm on Saturday morning. Bittersweet is all I can say. She turned 18 on the 6th, another bittersweet moment. Oliver and Angelo are great and we are all doing good too! More later, have to take Brynn to her birthday dinner two days late.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
John is leaving us
I went to John's reunification staffing today and it was decided that John would be going home tomorrow evening. He could have gone home tonight but Don has a union meeting tonight and it would probably be best for him to be a part of it. I am honestly (not proudly) looking forward to John going home. I need some peace and quiet and time to work on some of Oliver's less than pleasant learned behaviours. The worst one is "don't say that" with his hand up over and over again every time you say something to him that he doesn't want to hear.....
Angelo is doing good. He was adjudicated a dependent of the State of Florida today and became a long term foster child. His mom's drug screen from last week came back positive today too. The judge ordered that unsupervised visits be worked on and eventually allowed but he didn't know about the positive drug screen. Not really sure how it works from here. Also Mom has no real place to live for them to do a homestudy. So, I am not sure where this will lead for all of us.
Next week should be fun as Oliver, Angelo and I are all off to Orlando for 3 days to visit my dear friend Donna and her Kirov cutie, Daniel! Cannot wait. We are then home for about 24 hours and then off to Omaha for a visit. Angelo is staying with my good friend, Amy while we are gone.....crazy times ahead!
Angelo is doing good. He was adjudicated a dependent of the State of Florida today and became a long term foster child. His mom's drug screen from last week came back positive today too. The judge ordered that unsupervised visits be worked on and eventually allowed but he didn't know about the positive drug screen. Not really sure how it works from here. Also Mom has no real place to live for them to do a homestudy. So, I am not sure where this will lead for all of us.
Next week should be fun as Oliver, Angelo and I are all off to Orlando for 3 days to visit my dear friend Donna and her Kirov cutie, Daniel! Cannot wait. We are then home for about 24 hours and then off to Omaha for a visit. Angelo is staying with my good friend, Amy while we are gone.....crazy times ahead!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Quick Update
Baby Angelo is still with us, had his one month well baby visit yesterday and is thriving at 10lbs. 14oz. and 22.5" long! He is growing like a weed. Oliver and the rest of us are slowly falling in love with the little sweetie. Things are not going well for his mom at this point. She was evicted from her place yesterday and has a long way to go now before she would be able to get Angelo back. Yes, his name is growing on me. He is still a great sleeper and just wakes once or twice each night to eat. We have had probably four or five rough nights in the last weeks. I am not complaining one drop.
John was supposed to be going home in a few weeks but we have had a major hiccup in the plans. His mom up and decided to take off to Indiana because of a friend's relative's impending death but it never happened. She missed one weekday visit and last weekend's overnight visit. After the fact we were told that the relative has had cancer for many years and mom had only met her a couple of times. Well Mom is finally back and John is seeing her today for the first time in a week and a half. Hopefully things will now be back on track. He has been devastated by this all. So sad! We have done some great stuff with him in the last weeks. He has a bucket list that we are working on. This poor kid had never been to a swimming pool, the beach, a baseball game, zoo or much else. I honestly think he believed Walmart was the only store in town. On his bucket list there were five things left and we are slowly checking them off. We went to the Mote Aquarium in Sarasota, a petting zoo in the Orlando area with some dear friends (hoping for the Naples Zoo too) he has dinner at the fire station scheduled for next week (2nights as the A and B shifts both want the opportunity), have to find a train for him to ride yet and there is one more that escapes me right now. My mind is going!
Oliver is having a language explosion and is blowing us away. He still has some frustrating times when really important stuff gets repeated over and over and we cannot figure out what he has to say. Brynn is counting down the days till she moves away to Stetson. There are days I am sad and other days I cannot wait. I think God makes teens so challenging so it is easier to see them leave the nest. Steph is doing good and Michelle passed her boards a couple weeks ago and is licensed RN now!Monday, June 14, 2010
Change in plans....
Well it has been a long time since I updated everyone on the goings on. It has been a really crazy month. Brynn graduated magna cum laude from high school on June 5th and we had lots of family come to town to help us celebrate. Hard to believe she is headed off to college 2 months from today seems like yesterday she was toddling around getting in to mischief! She is going to Stetson University in DeLand where he grandmother lives. When she was very young, we would drive through the Stetson campus and she would say "I am going to go to college here." Dreams do come true!
I decided last week to not take Elizabeth back when she steps down from medical foster care. I just wasn't excited about the amount of time she would require of me and to continue my or our involvement with the kids' bio family. They continue to smoke around the kids and their asthma continues to flair up as a result. The mom likes to constantly cause drama amongst the child welfare people, John's teachers, Lizzie's foster mom and me. I am just burned out. So last week I talked to Don and he agreed. I also spoke with Lizzie's foster mom and she thought Lizzie would be fine in another foster home. So I let them all know of our decision last Thursday. We decided that once John goes home we would take a month or so off from fostering to take a family vacation to Omaha, to get Brynn situated at school and for Oliver to start his 2 day a week speech class. And that we would get a fresh start in September.
Well that all changed today, a short 5 days after the "decision".......it started off with Oliver taking every magazine out of my Nebraska copper tub and bringing a magazine to me with a baby on it and saying "dat Lizzie". He sees her once or twice week and seems to miss her. So, I asked him "do you miss Lizzie?" "Yes" he replies. So then I say "would like to have another baby around here?" "Yes." he again replies. A short while later (maybe 30 minutes) the phone rings and it is Lutheran Services general number, I really don't want to answer as I am sure it is about another of the bio mom's complaints. I answer it instead of procrastinating the inevitable. It was the new placement coordinator wanted to know what age children we were willing to accept. "the younger the better" is my response. "So you would take a newborn?" My heart melts at the words. I love the innocence of a newborn, the ease of their inability to talk back, the lack of baggage that comes with a newborn. So I say "Can I call my husband and call you back in 5 minutes?" I know what Don is going to say but figure I can convince him. He of course says "NO!" and then I explain the situation and that I already told them about our vacation and they said no problem they would get respite care. And he goes for it!
So baby Angelo has arrived! He is sweet and just 7 days old. He comes with a sad story. All I know is that his mother has lost previous kids and his father passed away this last week. There are family members of the father's that have expressed an interest but they are not holding out hope. I drove down to the hospital after Brynn got home from school and picked him up in the NICU. The nurses were awesome and gave me a quick refresher course as it has been 18 years since I had a newborn. It was so nice to hear kind words about taking him, when we all know that I really do this for my own desires and needs. He is doing good and we are enjoying him. I think he is probably a blend of Caucasian and Latin/Hispanic but I am not sure. He has a "Caucasian" last name.. For now he is "Baby". The boys love him and Brynn is watching him from across the room. I didn't rate for good night kisses from the boys but he did. And, he has already been to Target! I will update more as I can!
I decided last week to not take Elizabeth back when she steps down from medical foster care. I just wasn't excited about the amount of time she would require of me and to continue my or our involvement with the kids' bio family. They continue to smoke around the kids and their asthma continues to flair up as a result. The mom likes to constantly cause drama amongst the child welfare people, John's teachers, Lizzie's foster mom and me. I am just burned out. So last week I talked to Don and he agreed. I also spoke with Lizzie's foster mom and she thought Lizzie would be fine in another foster home. So I let them all know of our decision last Thursday. We decided that once John goes home we would take a month or so off from fostering to take a family vacation to Omaha, to get Brynn situated at school and for Oliver to start his 2 day a week speech class. And that we would get a fresh start in September.
Well that all changed today, a short 5 days after the "decision".......it started off with Oliver taking every magazine out of my Nebraska copper tub and bringing a magazine to me with a baby on it and saying "dat Lizzie". He sees her once or twice week and seems to miss her. So, I asked him "do you miss Lizzie?" "Yes" he replies. So then I say "would like to have another baby around here?" "Yes." he again replies. A short while later (maybe 30 minutes) the phone rings and it is Lutheran Services general number, I really don't want to answer as I am sure it is about another of the bio mom's complaints. I answer it instead of procrastinating the inevitable. It was the new placement coordinator wanted to know what age children we were willing to accept. "the younger the better" is my response. "So you would take a newborn?" My heart melts at the words. I love the innocence of a newborn, the ease of their inability to talk back, the lack of baggage that comes with a newborn. So I say "Can I call my husband and call you back in 5 minutes?" I know what Don is going to say but figure I can convince him. He of course says "NO!" and then I explain the situation and that I already told them about our vacation and they said no problem they would get respite care. And he goes for it!
So baby Angelo has arrived! He is sweet and just 7 days old. He comes with a sad story. All I know is that his mother has lost previous kids and his father passed away this last week. There are family members of the father's that have expressed an interest but they are not holding out hope. I drove down to the hospital after Brynn got home from school and picked him up in the NICU. The nurses were awesome and gave me a quick refresher course as it has been 18 years since I had a newborn. It was so nice to hear kind words about taking him, when we all know that I really do this for my own desires and needs. He is doing good and we are enjoying him. I think he is probably a blend of Caucasian and Latin/Hispanic but I am not sure. He has a "Caucasian" last name.. For now he is "Baby". The boys love him and Brynn is watching him from across the room. I didn't rate for good night kisses from the boys but he did. And, he has already been to Target! I will update more as I can!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Miss Elizabeth may be returning!
I found out from Elizabeth's medical foster mom yesterday that they are planning to release Elizabeth from medical foster care sometime the end of June. The kids' case manager supervisor was out to visit us yesterday but didn't know anything about it. Elizabeth has an appointment on the 21st with a craniofacial surgeon/specialist. That appoinment will tell Children's Medical Services more about her future treatment. If she needs surgery or many appointments on the East coast of Florida, she may stay where she is longer. Also, there is another hearing on the 26th regarding their mom's request for reunification. Not excited about them going back to a situation that I know isn't great or even good for them but I do know it is out of my hands. I will update everyone as I hear more. No one seems to know anything certain, as usual!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Long Overdue Update
Sorry I haven't posted in way too long but things have been a bit crazy but much better around here. Elizabeth was moved to medical foster care on Friday, April 23rd. She doesn't have cystic fibrosis but needed more care than is to be expected of a "normal" foster mom. I am much relieved to not have all of her added therapies to try and accomplish each day. Her new foster mom has been fostering for 12 years. She is a retired nurse and has the time to give Elizabeth. She is her only little one, she has a son who is 12 that she adopted through foster care and her 52 year old daughter and her husband live with her. She and her daughter spend their day caring for Elizabeth. I also am very happy as it gets Elizabeth in the Children's Medcial Services system. She now has a nurse assigned to her along with a case manager for her medical conditions. She will be in their system for a long time and once she is reunified with her mom, the services continue. She is going to see a craniofacial doctor in Miami in a couple weeks to see about reshaping her skull. This is something I couldn't manage time wise and once she is fitted with a helmet she has to go to Miami every 2 weeks, just not feasible with two boys.
John is doing better, his behaviours have improved but I continue to learn more and more alarming things about him and his previous life. All of which, I sadly know, he will return to:( Breaks my heart. Reunification will probably take place sometime this summer. We are looking at unsupervised visits starting the end of May, they usually happen for 4-8 weeks before we start overnight visits for 4-8 weeks and then if all goes well reunification will happen. We are hoping to be out of town most of the month of July so I am not sure how it will all play out. Elizabeth's foster mom offered to take John for a couple of weeks, if needed. I really don't want them to have to move him but know that is what may happen. We were initially told we would have the kids 30 to 60 days.
Don graduated with his bachelors of applied science in public administration this past Thursday and Saturday Michelle graduated with her bachelors of science in nursing!!! We have been busy getting our house and yard back in shape and then had much of Don's family come for graduation this past week. Brynn is done with classes and graduates on June 5th!! She is going to Stetson on August 14th to start the next chapter in her life. I am sad but so excited for her to live her dream. She is making her mama proud!!!
John is doing better, his behaviours have improved but I continue to learn more and more alarming things about him and his previous life. All of which, I sadly know, he will return to:( Breaks my heart. Reunification will probably take place sometime this summer. We are looking at unsupervised visits starting the end of May, they usually happen for 4-8 weeks before we start overnight visits for 4-8 weeks and then if all goes well reunification will happen. We are hoping to be out of town most of the month of July so I am not sure how it will all play out. Elizabeth's foster mom offered to take John for a couple of weeks, if needed. I really don't want them to have to move him but know that is what may happen. We were initially told we would have the kids 30 to 60 days.
Don graduated with his bachelors of applied science in public administration this past Thursday and Saturday Michelle graduated with her bachelors of science in nursing!!! We have been busy getting our house and yard back in shape and then had much of Don's family come for graduation this past week. Brynn is done with classes and graduates on June 5th!! She is going to Stetson on August 14th to start the next chapter in her life. I am sad but so excited for her to live her dream. She is making her mama proud!!!
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